When Love Finds You


When Love finds you….

Love will find you…

I am not too worried if you are young, naive and optimistic like Isaac or Rebecca

Neither am I worried if you have been dealt a tough blow in relationships such that you are bruised, pessimistic and withdrawn like Ruth.

Love will find you…believe me.

It is not going to be a question of IF; rather it will be one of WHEN. Believe me again, Love will find you. However, when love finds you the biggest challenge will be your readiness and availability.There are different categories of people in this life:

  • Some are ready and not available
  • Some are available but not ready
  • Some are not ready and not available And then some are both ready and available.

You should be READY and AVAILABLE.

When love comes around it is almost always unexpected like an “out of the blues”, random occurrence but upon further reflection and observation, I am realizing that love is more than a random act. Love happens at the intersection of “ready and available”.

So are you ready?

A good way to illustrate the concept of being ready is to share an instance when I took my kids out for a date. One of the habits I have instituted in my family is spending quality bonding/family time before any of our business or ministry travels. Such events are really more about sharing precious time with the family, discussing ideas and highlighting life events over a meal. I am proud to state that we’ve had this special bonding time in diverse outlets such as fast food joints to fancy restaurants. We’ve decided that our focus will be on the fellowship rather than the location but I must confess the location does help sometimes (LOL).

Anyway, on this particular occasion, about an hour prior to departure I asked the kids to get ready to go out. Here’s a high level break down of the time and the tasks. The kids spent the first 30 – 35 minutes deciding what to wear, which really is a function of where we are going. So I had to give them an idea of what might be appropriate. That destination influences their options. Next, we selected the appropriate accessories (socks, shoes etc.) that match their prior selection. Lastly, we spent the last 20 minutes getting dressed and cleaning up prior to departure.

Let me use these 3 steps to highlight how to get ready –

Step 1: Everything starts with a Decision

So have you decided? Do you know where you are going? If you do, are you ready for what that destination requires? Do you know what you are? Your decision (destination) influences your behaviour. If you simply want to be a boyfriend or a girlfriend, then that determines your focus. If you want to get married, then that destination also influences your focus. Or if you simply want to have fun, have a fling, be someone’s side piece that invariably also influences your focus. All relationships start with a decision or a choice (intentional or otherwise) that is based on one’s state of being. I love this beautiful quote that says, ” do not focus on finding the right person, focus on being the right person”. Are you right? Will you be found to be the ‘right’ one?

Step 2: Your thoughts are Magnetic

Do your thoughts reflect who you are? Every decision starts with thoughts and it is those thoughts that attract people into your life. The wise King Solomon in the book of Proverbs revealed one of the most fascinating truths about the integral role of thoughts in one’s life. Proverbs 24 declares that, “as a man or woman thinks so is he or she”. Literally, your life will reflect your thoughts. See, your decisions will follow your thoughts, which are inevitably influenced by what you’ve received via your gateways (eyes and ears). No one can go beyond his or her thoughts and the key to great decision-making is to think great thoughts. Good (positive) thoughts attract good (positive) people and conversely negative thoughts attract negative people. I have spoken, observed and heard of individuals who vowed to select better spouses than their parents but who ended up with worse relationship choices. Shocking? Not at all. Thoughts are magnetic and attract This brings me to my next point; your decisions are heavily influenced by your thoughts.

Step 3: Projections – Dressed

Another way to illustrate step 2 is to highlight the fact that you wear your thoughts. What people perceive are your inner projections. If a man or woman believes he or she is worthless and no good, then he or she will project a worthless (no good) self image and regardless of the exterior package (beauty, neat adornment and great physique) That worthlessness in thoughts will eventually be heard and seen. Conversely, if a man or woman believes the opposite: that they are precious, valuable and unique then they will also project and reflect an aura that is wholesome and life giving. Your true self should be adorned from within.

So are you well dressed?

To Be Continued…#RelationshipsAtoZ

NOTE: Your comments are very much valued and welcome. Let me know your thoughts on this. If you have questions, do feel free to ask me in the comments also.

Stay Blessed!

7 Quotes on Transparency


  1. “Transparency, honesty, kindness, good stewardship, even humor, work in businesses at all times.” –John Gerzema
  2. “Eyes so transparent that through them the soul is seen.” –Theophile Gautier
  3. “Transparency is not the same as looking straight through a building: it’s not just a physical idea, it’s also an intellectual one.” –Helmut Jahn
  4. “I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom.” –Simone de Beauvoir
  5. “Truth never damages a cause that is just.” –Mahatma Gandhi
  6. “I just think we need more accountability and more transparency.” –John Thune
  7. “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” –Thomas Jefferson

7 Quotes on Listening

7 Quotes on Listening

  1. “Everything in writing begins with language. Language begins with listening.” –Jeanette Winterson

  2. “There is as much wisdom in listening as there is in speaking–and that goes for all relationships, not just romantic ones.” –Daniel Dae Kim

  3. “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said” –Peter Drucker

  4. “When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” –Ernest Hemingway

  5. “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” –Stephen R. Covey

  6. “Friends are those rare people who ask how we are, and then wait to hear the answer.” –Ed Cunningham

  7. “The art of conversation lies in listening.” –Malcom Forbes

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day from all of us at "Relationship Matters".

Dads are the anchors of our lives, families, communities and we celebrate all the fathers today.

Here are some of our favorite quotes that capture our thoughts and gratitude today:

  • "When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry." -William Shakespeare
  • "Son, brother, father, lover, friend. There is room in the heart for all the affections, as there is room in heaven for all the stars." – Victor Hugo
  • "It is a wise father that knows his own child."- William Shakespeare
  • Father’s Day is hopefully a time when the culture says, ‘This is our moment to look at who our men and boys are.’ – Michael Gurian
  • "My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me." – Jim Valvano
  • "To be as good as our fathers we must be better, imitation is not discipleship." – Wendell Phillips


7 Quotes on LIFE

7Quotes on Life

  1. “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” -Albert Einstein
  2. “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” -John F. Kennedy
  3. “Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” -Helen Keller
  4. “Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.” -Richard L. Evans
  5. “The only disability in life is a bad attitude.” -Scott Hamilton
  6. “Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.” -Richard L. Evans
  7. “If you live long enough, you’ll make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you’ll be a better person. It’s how you handle adversity, not how it affects you. The main thing is never quit, never quit, never quit.” -William J. Clinton


7 Quotes on Adaptability

7 Quotes on Adaptability

  1. “You can’t build an adaptable organization without adaptable people- and individuals change only when they have to, or when they want to.” -Gary Hamel
  2. “People will try to tell you that all the great opportunities have been snapped up. In reality, the world changes every second, blowing new opportunities in all directions, including yours.” -Ken Hakuta
  3. “Learn to adjust yourself to the conditions you have to endure, but make a point of trying to alter or correct conditions so that they are most favorable to you.” -William Frederick Book

  4. “All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.” ~ Bruce Lee

  5. “A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it.” -Chinese Proverb

  6. “Fall seven times and stand up eight.” -Japanese Proverb

  7. “Adaptability is about the powerful difference between adapting to cope and adapting to win.” -Max McKeown

Funny? Not So Much

Laugh! It’s ok.

It is actually a funny joke until it starts to cut deep…especially on the questions asked after the wedding day. So why don’t we make time NOW to ask these questions rather than wait till after marriage?

Discover more ideas, questions and insights in my new book, "127 Questions Singles Must Ask Their Future Spouse" – Click here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00V3PSX9G

#RelationshipMatters #127Questions #NewBook #Questions #Dating #Marriage #Men #Women #Ladies #Wedding #Singles #Love #EngagedCouples #love #engaged #justwedding #weddingdetails #weddingplanning #proposal #weddingideas #marriedatlast #couple #kisses

Question of the Week-end: Compatibility

The issue of compatibility is very crucial for any relationship  – emotional, physical or otherwise.

Here’s this week-end’s question: “CAN TWO WALK TOGETHER IF THEY ARE NOT IN AGREEMENT?”

This is an important question to consider if you are in a relationship – physical, business or career. By the way,  don’t ask “are we compatible?” rather ask “How…am I compatible with this individual,  or team?”

While we are on the subject of #Questions, check out my new book, “127 Questions Singles Must Ask Their Future Spouse”  – NOW AVAILABLE Click here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00V3PSX9G

#RelationshipMatters #127Questions #NewBook  #Questions #Dating #Marriage #Men #Women #Ladies #Wedding #Singles #Love #EngagedCouples