[New Post] How to Make Love With Your Clothes On

BirdCan we be honest? Everyone’s looking for a perfect relationship yet no one is willing to work hard for it.

A vibrant loving relationship is indeed challenging mentally and physically but the feedback from those who put in the hard work and pay the price is encouraging, because they all confirmed the great success that follows the efforts. In their words, the rewards are well worth it! So don’t ‘cop’ out, put in the work necessary.

In the same spirit of being honest, there is no doubt that we all struggle with romance but personally I am finding that the key is in initiating, taking small steps, being consistent and never becoming complacent or insensitive. Some of the insights (tips) I hold dear till date came from David & Anne Frahm’s book, titled “How To Make Love With Your Clothes On” below:

  • The firm foundations of a romantic relationship are built upon the delights of surprise
  • Little things mean the world to women”
  • Catching a woman off guard ‘now and then adds drama to a marriage, that most women crave.

Listed below are 10 ways to make love with your clothes on and I want to dare you to try them out, the results will surprise you.


  1. Leave a ‘provocative’ message for your spouse on the answering machine
  2. Open the car door for her, both getting in and getting out
  3. Call her during the day just to tell her you love her and that you’ve been thinking about her
  4. At an unsuspecting moment, sweep her into your arms and tell her that she’s your best friend
  5. Ask her opinion on an important decision you’ve got to make
  6. Pray with her over her concerns
  7. Compliment her on her appearance
  8. Tape a note to the bathroom scale that says “Just Right”
  9. Surprise her with flowers because it’s true that “Flowers like women, bring beauty into the world and they belong together”
  10. Make time to talk and listen

I will love to hear from you the ones that worked for you as well as others you are trying out or have tried or heard of. In addition, do you need help in your relationship(s), marriage or life? Remember, you are not alone, help is available. Email info@relationshipsdomatter.com

Author: ‘Flo Falayi, Ph.D.(c) is a preacher, speaker and author. A husband and father with a passion for reviving and empowering the next generation. Flo hosts and speaks at conferences, seminars and events nationally on Leadership and Relationship Mattters.

Follow Flo On Twitter; @holyflo
Subscribe to the Leadership & Relationship Newsletter, click HERE

[New Post] How to Make Love With Your Clothes On

The Power of Choice #Quote

The Power of Choice


  • Choices are the hinges of destiny. ~Pythagoras
  • Life is the sum of all your choices. ~Albert Camus
  • When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.  ~William James
  • It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.  ~Roy Disney
  • The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.  ~David Russell
  • Indecision becomes decision with time.  ~Author Unknown
  • The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.  ~Flora Whitte
  • ​​Decisions become easier when your will to please God outweighs your will to please the world.  ~Anso Coetzer
  • Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • The inability to make a decision has often been passed off as patience.  ~Author Unknown


What’s the ideal age to be married? #Poll

At what age would you like to get married ? (Ideal age)

#AskMe #RDMPoll


[BlogPost] Own Your Life #Commentary

Eventually, we become what we believe.

Take Charge of Your LifeWithout a doubt, I believe that within each one of us are great possibilities, dreams and endless potentials wired divinely by God that are eventually revealed in time. These divine impulses, codes, imprints and possibilities are often ignored, silenced, and discarded as we grow up and face the challenging and often difficult ‘life experiences’ that build the barriers in our hearts and minds.

Transition: Doubts and unbelief.

Eventually, we go from believing all things are possible to accepting only those ‘few’ things that are possible. Gradually, we become a shell of our confident selves and become custodians of limitations due to our life experiences and stories. Trapped and no longer in tune with our destiny, we limit those God given dreams and opportunities within us with being ‘real’ and ‘practical’. We attribute creativity to a select few and literally shut down mentally, creatively and emotionally when new ideas, dreams or visions are discussed or mentioned. We become victims of limitations and the very popular “cold truth” but I refuse that prison term, I know there is a better life.

Our best days lie ahead of us, with our words we can frame our thoughts and those thoughts can guide our actions and eventually set (or reset) our destinies. Each day presents a great opportunity to focus on God’s dream for your life and not getting mad or angry. Regain and reclaim lost time…start with your words;

  • You are not a loser, looking for a lucky break
  • You are not a failure, looking for a good streak
  • You are not an accident or a disappointment
  • You are not hopeless and useless
  • Actually, anyone that calls you a loser is a loser
  • Anyone that calls you a failure is a failure

Man's Power to ThinkYou need to build up the right winning attitude and mindset with your words. Winning isn’t something we seek but something we are. Start each day confirming who you are and declaring who you were born to be. Don’t wait to react to the wrong name(s) when you can set yourself up right by confessing.

The difference between winners and losers sometimes is in their actions. Winners do what losers dream about. Own your life; It’s your noble assignment.

 Listed below are some of my daily declarations:

  • I was born for such a time as this…I belong here.
  • I am highly favored and a beacon of hope
  • I am more than a conqueror
  • I am a creative force
  • The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places
  • I have a great, amazing and divine inheritance
  • I am confident in my God-given abilities
  • I am an excellent masterpiece
  • I have a powerful and sound mind

Feel free to recite or use them for yourself and loved ones. Oh by the way, I am also giving out a work book filled with simple, practical but insightful truths to say over your life and your loved ones each day – it’s FREE so get yours today, Request for yours here 

[BlogPost] Own Your Life #Commentary

[New Post] 25 Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas #Tips

25+ Valentine Gift IdeasValentine’s Day is a few days away and the buildup continues…listed below are some gift ideas ranging from the simple to slightly moderate and a few moderate to hard ones. I hope the list stirs your creativity as you celebrate the one(s) you love.

 Easy-Moderate Effort

  1. Cake or Cookies
  2. Candies
  3. Books – Audio, E-Book or Print
  4. Scented or Unscented Candles
  5. Chocolates
  6. Flowers – Roses
  7. Perfumes
  8. Valentine’s Cards
  9. Gadgets
  10. Tools & Kitchen Utensils
  11. Gym Subscriptions
  12. Spa Treatments
  13. Clothing, Shirts, Briefs & Intimates
  14. Jewelry
  15. Cooking Books, Apps and Books
  16. Movie Tickets
  17. DVDs
  18. Donate to Charity in someone’s name







Moderate-Hard Effort

  1. Create a “Breakfast in Bed” package
  2. Create a personalized card
  3. Cook ‘Dinner’ for 2
  4. Collate his/her favorite music songs – a Valentine’s Day Collections
  5. Bake Cake or Cookies
  6. Give “Time” Gift Cards – in 1, 5, 10, 24 Hours
  7. Volunteer at a local charity event

Oh by the way, a personal recommendation, my book, “Relationships Do Matter”

Relationships-Do-Matter EBook(on Amazon for $2.99), is filled with simple, practical and relevant relationship insights on building and maximizing relationships aimed directly at Singles and indirectly at Couples promises to be a nice Valentine’s Day addition. It is filled with memorable snippets that will inspire, instruct, challenge and provoke you to elevate your relationship IQ. Available on Amazon, get your copy here:  Relationships Do Matter


More Tips:



 FREE Gift to my readers on Valentine’s Day: Click Here To Get Yours

[New Post] 25 Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas #Tips

“50 Shades of Grey” #Opinion

There is a lot to say and yes a lot has been said already…but decided to add my opinion as well after I read on CNN, that someone gave 5 middle school kids (watch CNN) typically between the ages of 11 – 13, a 50 Shades of Grey themed puzzle that’s when I knew I could no longer be silent. I wasn’t necessarily surprised by the acclaimed book’s success and it’s continued buzz towards the movie’s release…the more a fantasy is fed and nurtured the more it demands. My opinion: “Don’t indulge your ‘fantasy’ by watching this movie…”

For the record, this post isn’t about debating the pros and cons but rather it is about highlighting some facts to the ‘undecided’ or the silent ones who would rather remain ‘unknown’ or unperturbed by movies and how critical they are in shifting mindsets. I know some could refute my comments based on their self-will and how movies are simply petty amusements to be consumed in moderation. This post is really for those still open minded enough to listen to the dialogue about the potential dangers of a ‘boundary less’ life or relationship. I hope you read this and decide to take a stand even if privately and to at the least become a fierce defender of your heart because the ‘issues of life’ reside inside the heart. In the words of Peter Marshall, If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.” So guard your heart and your eyes (your inlet points) and consider the other options listed below as well. 

I have a strong conviction that by taking a position, “The future generations (including our children) will thank us.”

50 Shades Of Grey
50 Shades of Grey, image source: LifeStarValleyBlog


The new movie, Fifty Shades of Grey is more than a romantic, silly Valentine’s day entertainment and I am certain it will significantly alter our cultural landscape further especially as it pertains to ‘SEX’. 

For those that do not even know what “Fifty Shades of Grey” means, here’s a brief summary – The movie titled Fifty Shades of Grey hits theaters in a few days, just in time for Valentine’s Day and while it is being promoted as a romantic story of a rich handsome man who charms a young innocent lady with lavish gifts and bold declarations of desire.” SOURCE  It is actually more about a sexually explicit relationship between a college student and a businessman filled with fantasies, bondage sex, dominance, submissive sex and much more. In fact, according to Washington Post, the novel was a massive hit with an estimated 100 million readers — mostly women“.

According to CNN: there are two common themes of sadomasochism and bondage in the movie/book -CNN

When it comes to this movie, there are three positions/camps:

  • The “No Harm- so do nothing”: It’s entertainment don’t get riled up and you should only watch the movie if you want and have fun.
  • The “Harmful – Do Something (Don’t watch, Support Charities etc)”: This position is more articulate about the dangers of sexual deviancy, pornography, addiction etc and has begun series of actions to sensitized people to the prevailing dangers to the society.
  • Finally, The Undecided: Uncertain, perhaps even unaware that such a movie exists and probably do not care for it.

50 ShadesThis unrelenting movement designed to poison souls, damage innocent souls and destroy every thing good especially sex isn’t simply entertainment. It’s time to WAKE UP!

“Hollywood is advertising the Fifty Shades story as an erotic love affair, but it is really about sexual abuse and violence against women,” said Dawn Hawkins, executive director of National Center on Sexual Exploitation. “Read More here” Eventually, it will spill across the globe…we’ve seen this before.

Leilani Haywood’s post (in the Charisma Magazine) on Fifty Shades of Grey is probably the position that best captures my sentiment about the movie. So let me just be upfront here…”I am not interested in watching a movie that glorifies sexual violence towards women period and will tell my readers, subscribers and anyone who cares to listen that this movie does more harm than good. Isn’t it so ironical that our society’s desire to reduce domestic violence publicly is met with another blockbuster movie (slant) that glorifies bondage, perverted sex and violence. What a contradiction! 

Click here to watch the popular Anti-domestic violence Ad from the Superbowl

Heads up: If you have kids, get ready to talk about this movie at some point considering Target and other stores now have toys e.g. teddy bears with handcuffs available for purchase, more here: marketing opportunities and demands.

What can you do? 

National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCSE) has launched an aggressive national campaign against the controversial film, Fifty Shades of Grey. NCSE’s new webpage,fiftyshadesisabuse.com highlights 50-plus ways that Fifty Shades harms and provides various actions that the public can take, including signing a boycott petition and joining the #50DollarsNot50Shades campaign, which calls on patrons to forgo the film and donate to women’s shelters instead. More here: http://www.charismamag.com/entertainment/movies/22416-the-ugly-truth-about-fifty-shades-of-gray-movie

Forest Benedict’s article on addiction, pornography is important here, here’s an excerpt – “A study published in the Journal of Women’s Health in 2013 examined themes in Fifty Shades of Grey, with the help of abuse and sexual practice experts. The results revealed that the book has extensive instances of emotional abuse, sexual violence, and reactions by the victim that are typical of abused women. The conclusion of the study was this:

  1. “Our analysis identified patterns in Fifty Shades that reflect pervasive intimate partner violence—one of the biggest problems of our time.
  2. Further, our analysis adds to a growing body of literature noting dangerous violence standards being perpetuated in popular culture.”

I cannot in good conscience support any establishment that spreads messages such as this through the showing of Fifty Shades of Grey or movies like it. Pervasive pornography already has a stranglehold on our society and I believe this movie perpetuates messages that hurt all of us, especially the most vulnerable, our children.” 

Forest shared 7 things you should consider doing:

  1. Let your money talk
  2. Write about it
  3. Invest in the Good (Alternative)
  4. Share this article with others
  5. Join The Movement
  6. Persist
  7. Believe

Read the rest of this post HERE



Addiction, Pornography and Sexual bondage is not funny and many souls are trapped and bound to their ‘private’ pleasures. This is a pervasive stronghold on many marriages, relationships today and there is HELP AVAILABLE. Get ONLINE help with this great filtering software for your spouse and children’s devices from Covenant Eyes: CHECK IT OUT

 More Sources: 

“50 Shades of Grey” #Opinion

[NewPost] My Favorite Love #Quotes

  1. Love-Hearts-Valentines-Day“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” – Ann Landers 
  2. “Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr. #RelationshipMatters 
  3. “The sweetest of all sounds is that of the voice of the woman we love.” – Jean de la Bruyere #RelationshipMatters 
  4. “A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea.” – Honore de Balzac #RelationshipMatters 
  5. “Love has no age, no limit; and no death.” – John Galsworthy #RelationshipMatters 
  6. “Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” – Henry Van Dyke #RelationshipMatters
  7. “Love is a game that two can play and both win.” – Eva Gabor #RelationshipMatters 
  8. “Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” – James A. Baldwin #RelationshipMatters 
  9. “Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.” – Ray Stannard Baker #RelationshipMatters 
  10. “We can only learn to love by loving.” – Iris Murdoch #RelationshipMatters 
  11. “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” –  Mother Teresa #RelationshipMatters 
  12. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” – Jesus Christ 
  13. “There is a woman at the begining of all great things.” – Alphonse de Lamartine #RelationshipMatters 
  14. “A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.” – Brendan Behan #RelationshipMatters 
  15. Valentine'sDay“Love is blind.” – Geoffrey Chaucer #RelationshipMatters 
  16. “The course of true love never did run smooth.” – William Shakespeare #RelationshipMatters 
  17. “You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; in just the same way, you learn to love by loving.” – Anatole France #RelationshipMatters 
  18. “In the flush of love’s light, we dare be brave. And suddenly we see that love costs all we are, and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free.” – Maya Angelou #RelationshipMatters 
  19. Love is always bestowed as a gift – freely, willingly and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love. – Leo Buscaglia #RelationshipMatters 
  20. “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery #RelationshipMatters 
  21. “The hunger for #love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.” – Mother Teresa #RelationshipMatters 
  22. “We need 4 hugs a day for #survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for #growth” – Virginia Satir #RelationshipMatters #Love 
  23. “Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” – Robert Frost  #RelationshipMatters 

Which one of these struck you the most? Share your favorite in the comments below.

[NewPost] My Favorite Love #Quotes

[Reblog] The Difference Between Men and Women #Classic #Awesome

Hello All: Happy New Week!
Here’s an interesting post on the difference(s) between the sexes (male and female). The difference(s) is often subtle but if left unchecked, can gradually become extremely complicated and challenging in relationships. Isn’t this true though?

What do you think?

Source: http://www.tickld.com/x/the-difference-between-men-and-women
#RelationshipMatters #Singles #Dating #ComplicatedLife


[Poll] “50 Shades of Grey” Movie #Vote

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
Start date 2015-02-04 15:25:58
End date 2015-02-12 23:59:59
Poll Results:
Will you watch the film, "50 Shades of Grey" ?


[Poll] “50 Shades of Grey” Movie #Vote