How Women Can Make Church a Safe Place for Men

An interesting piece in Charisma and certain to garner diverse reactions and perhaps frank, honest dialogue. Let me know your thoughts.
“How women can make church a safe place for men” by Dannah Gresh


The article starts by stating categorically that when women dress provocatively they dishonor God and display a lack of regard for His holiness. In addition, become a distraction for our brothers in Christ.

Don’t leave yet, read on…please.

The author continued…”I’d been traveling all weekend, and my flight from California to the East Coast got in at midnight. All I wanted to do was go home, drop my suitcases and hit the sack. But the story my husband had waiting for me made me drop my jaw and want to hit—well, not the sack! “She was just visiting our church service this morning,” he began haltingly. He didn’t notice her at first, he said. But then came “greeting time.” Bob, I’d like you to meet John’s cousin,” a friend said as he introduced her.

That’s when my husband’s mind began to whirl. He’d heard about her. She was the one with the perfect—well, let’s just say she qualified to be a fitting model for Victoria’s Secret.”

Ok HOLD ON! The questions on my my mind are many, especially these three: 

  1. Is it fair for only the women to take on this burden?
  2. Aren’t men also responsible here? 
  3. What does making the church safer mean? 

Ok, here are some scary statistics: According to Christian psychologist, Mark Laaser about 30 percent of Christian pastors and leaders struggle with pornography.

  • Think about that for a moment, 1/3 of leaders suffer from pornography!!!
  • And consider this as well, “Among Christian men in general, more than 60 percent are estimated to struggle with continual sexual compulsions of some type.”  The scary truth is that these figures are even conservative.

Ok, go on and read this article and let me know what you think. CLICK HERE :


Pray for Ferguson

These are my thoughts…

I guess we could easily embrace the victim mentality as echoed by Erin Gruwell in The Freedom Writers Diary who stated, “It would be easy to become a victim of our circumstances and continue feeling sad, scared or angry; or instead, we could choose to deal with injustice humanely and break the chains of negative thoughts and energies, and not let ourselves sink into it.”

I believe we have to be courageous enough to confront the inevitable in our communities with compassion and genuine vulnerability.

I know that  - Prejudice, Injustice, Inequalities and Evil are not simple ideologies that can be defeated by theories and legislation because it lies deep within the crevices of our hearts. Indeed, our battles are not against mere flesh and blood. The message of transformation, love, forgiveness, hope and healing must be divinely inspired and administrated.

Recall that “We are each burdened with prejudice; against the poor or the rich, the smart or the slow, the gaunt or the obese. It is natural to develop prejudices. It is noble to rise above them. ~Author Unknown~

We must seek to rise consistently and continuously above prejudice.

So today, please pray for the city of Ferguson, Missouri which is a microcosm of a nation, as it battles the ugly multi-variant and deeply complex forces of anger, injustice, prejudice, and inequalities that have been revived with the unfortunate loss of another young black man.

It is obvious that America’s deepest wounds have not completely healed and there is a need to attend to these divides often, truthfully and boldly.

May I ask that we teach and prepare the next generation for a brighter and better future.

Lastly and perhaps most importantly -

Please Pray for Ferguson
Please Pray for Ferguson
  • Please pray for a speedy resolution of this impasse
  • Pray for justice to be served
  • Pray that calm and peace will return to this city, state and nation.
  • Please pray for the seasoned, deliberate and thoughtful leaders with wise and compassionate hearts and the courage to do right to rise up and attend to these complex issues, Amen.

May God bless the city of Ferguson, Missouri
May God bless the state of Missouri
May God bless the United States of America

More on Ferguson, Mo: HERE



Have you ever been to “The Wit’s End” ? #Newsletter

Happy Weekend Folks.
Due to system glitches, I believe some subscribers didn’t get yesterday’s newsletter, sincere apologies. subscribe to make sure there are no disruptions.  This is a good read, I pray it be a blessing to everyone.

The Wit's End
The Wit’s End

Life could be tough, unfair and dark but when it gets so dark, sad, gloomy and downright depressing you have an option.

Check it out:

Have a wonderful weekend and maximize the moments because life is short.



Robin Williams is one of my favorite actors of all time. I, like many, have watched his movies for comedic relief and laughs on numerous occasions. Yet, his death via suicide is heartbreaking and so sad, the irony of this story is that the man who made many laugh, helped many deal with life’ pressures and made some forget the grind of the hustle, himself suffered under the dark, evil grip of depression and suicide.


Sadly, there are some who are likewise stuck and in a dark place today like Robin, dealing with serious life issues (sickness, life challenges, fear, esteem, confidence, acceptance etc) and the deception or fear of being seen to be one struggling keeps them ‘locked’ up forever.

One word suffices, there’s HOPE!!!

In our world today, only the best is revealed, the best ‘selfies’, pictures, stories etc and we hide the real ‘us’ and often confront those issues privately. Sadly and rather often the private battles are not won, we need help and each other to be more sensitive at the least even if that is the only help we can provide. Sometimes it is to say you are not alone in the dark. I know people are really struggling and need help, support, accountability and much more from others too.

Coincidentally, this is why I resurrected the life and relationship newsletter to confront life issues at a deeper level, that goes beyond the cliches, quotes, likes, quips, nuggets with sound biblical truths. Some things just can’t be addressed comprehensively and effectively on social media.

So what’s next? Sign up for the weekly newsletter if you are interested, it will be a great resource and aid to maximize your relationships. I am extending this offer as well, if after 4 issues, it hasn’t helped you, then let me know and you will get my newest book FREE but I doubt that very much. Anyway, sign up on the main page (PS: it’s FREE)

Remember Relationships DO Matter!

It’s time for more #Subscribe

It’s time for more…more teaching, mentoring, engagement, sound truth injected into our relationship journey.


So sign up for the weekly relationships do matter newsletter today (,  here’s my promise if you don’t find the newsletter useful after a few (4) weeks,  you will get my next book FREE. But conversely,  consider what would happen if you do?

Go on, sign up (subscribe) now and share this information with your networks, friends, colleagues, social groups, fellowship as well.

Welcome onboard.

Thoughts on Domestic Violence #Conflicts #Quotes

Thoughts On ‪#‎domestic‬ violence…

Parents (mentors, care-takers, communities) please teach the boys from an early age to never hit, bash, beat, maul or brutalize girls; reinforce it as they get older and please demand it when they are ‘grown’ up. No excuses should be entertained.

A man who hits...
A man who hits…a woman needs help. So does a woman

Conversely, we should teach the girls not to ‘touch’, man-handle boys from an early age, reinforcing this as they get older and demanding it when they are ‘grown’ up. No excuses should be entertained.

A woman that hits...

Failure doesn’t have to be the end, Hit the Restart Button.

It’s ok to hit restart. It’s ok to start again.

Sometimes when my modem starts acting up, I often hit the ‘restart’ button to clear out hung signals, dead traffic clogging my system to free up space and I am told stale traffic. This ‘singular’ act of rebooting has on many occasions been the difference between success and failure.

Failure is not Final, Hit the Restart Button.
Failure is not Final, Hit the Restart Button.

Coincidentally, I restart my phone daily as well in the morning as I bounce from one free wi-fi zone to another, it’s clear when I do because My phone is able to respond quicker and ‘faster’, I guess. I think it is important to let the phone refresh itself considering my phone doubles as my alarm clock as well.

So today, if you hung up, stuck, unable to receive fresh inspiration or in capable of relaxing and embracing a new day, I want you to willfully hit the restart button.

Yes, Hit the restart button. Clear your system of the old, stale remnants of yesterday. You know yourself…Yep, you.

Your routine has become a nightmare, hang ups, dead weights from past failures and disappointments and missed opportunities etc.

Yet, I am telling you that “Failure is not final.” You can really start again!

You can leave the past in the past and hit the restart button.

While I admit the past offers us lessons these must be used as pivotal foundational frames for the future. Life lessons I call them are developed in the dark rooms of life.

So refuse to let failure in life, career, business, ministry, relationships, marriage define you.  You can begin again!

Using the fuel of failure and the deeper understanding of your God given purpose as your launching pad for future success.

Friends, Hit the Restart button.

#success #fearnot #youcanbeginagain #newmonth #week #awordfortheweek #greaterdwellswithinyou #winners #dontquit #relationshipsdomatter #lifematters #peoplematter

Legendary Love

#Legendary Love is a glimpse into love that had to endure patiently and embracing the process with gratitude. I pray this encourages someone.

PS: do enjoy your summer, go outside, meet people, laugh and explore your world.

Legendary Love

It’s amazing how God stirs lessons in our hearts to meditate on and some we get to share. This is a classic example of both and let’s simply say indeed “out of the mouth of babes…”.

One of the many resources we use to encourage the faith of our kids is the VeggieTales collection of Bible stories. And recently as we watched “Little Joe”, my daughter asked me – “Why was Joseph the favourite of all the kids Jacob had?” And just before I answered, she said maybe because he was Rachel’s son. And then I went on to explain the story of Jacob and Rachel, and their love.

So special and rare was the love Jacob had for Rachel. Definitely, every woman would take great pleasure in being loved in such a way. Any man would stand out too if he took a cue from this ‘loverman’, who despite his short comings, handled love in an exemplary way. I took time to read their love story again and two main things stood out for me.

Jacob was willing to work 7 years to get the woman of his dreams. And when he was deceived and denied this reward, agreed to work an extra 7 years to keep her. 7 years is not a short time at all. In 7 years, one could complete a bachelor’s degree with a master’s programme and phd (in some cases)! In 7 years, a new intake could rise to mid management level in some organisations! In 7 years, a new born would be mature enough to read, write and do some things independently. And to think he did double time!
He valued her very dearly, that he decided to persevere. That he waited. Little wonder the first characteristic we are taught of love (centuries after) is patience. Patience is a virtue and a critical part of love, Jacob demonstrated this greatly in his love for Rachel.
Can we wait for love’s time? Can we wait for love to grow and mature? Can we give love time to be ready? Can we persevere when love is being challenged? Can we persevere while the one we love is being perfected?

I get an impression that Jacob did not get to enjoy the benefits of sex with Rachel till after the 1st set of 7 years. What then kept their love alive for this whole time? The message we hear around us today is that love cannot be sustained without sex. Infact, we find many being challenged to prove their love by going all the way.
But then, I can imagine some memorable times Jacob and Rachel would have had shared. For instance the many morning strolls they would have had together. Both of them, side by side, laying on the desert sand, starring into the night skies and sharing the innermost meditations and dreams of their hearts. I envision Jacob discussing strategies of shepherding to Rachel and the peculiarities of each sheep specie. I can imagine him taking out time to got to the well where they first met to help water the flock again and again. I even see pictures of many fun times with mutual friends and relatives as they discover more about each other.

And then I wonder, how do we keep our love alive – while we wait for the appropriate time, while we try to finish strong in the midst of so many distractions and life’s busy schedule?
Do we make communication a vital part? Do we lay our hearts bare and open? Do we engage in activities of common interests as often as we can? Do we spend enough appreciable time together? Do we keep dear in our hearts the memorable moments shared and the traits that attracted us?

As we all continue in the journey of love, may we take these two angles as challenges for us. Whether single or married…to learn patience and perseverance, to continue with the honorable at all times to keep love alive. Perhaps, generations down the line, our love will serve as a model to many.

©FolaFayo – A wife, mother and passionate disciple of Christ.

Singles & Married