Don’t Date Your Boss #Opinion

This morning, I read the article on “What to do when you realize your boss secretly has a crush on you” on Business Insider and had a simple response…

don't date your bossDON’T DATE YOUR BOSS!


The downsides are more than the upsides to this situation and being aware of the odds of success also helps. Now, if you must accept your boss’ advances (and not give in because you have no choice) and start a relationship make sure you have another job lined up or it has enough promise for a future. In order words, make sure the relationship is a win-win. Here’s a fact only about 1/3 of such relationships succeed so please proceed cautiously.

I am aware of what really happens however in some cultures and environments. When a boss has a crush, it is a serious problem because often these attentions from the boss (many of whom are married) are really unsolicited “intense, sexual” advances… so in such cases, get ready to quit your job! Just my candid opinion, feel free to disagree or state so if otherwise.

Read the entire article here…

Wishing you and yours an amazing day!


Feelings Change #CountdownToValentine’sDay

Dear #Singles,
I know it’s a crazy jungle out there…
Actually, I know it’s a shark tank.

Bloody and dangerous, but I want you to know that life doesn’t run or go far on feelings. Please don’t let the beautiful pictures on social media fool you.

So let me tell you the truth, ‪#‎Feelings‬ change…those flaky emotional renegades and more so when you get closer to Valentine’s Day. I know!

FeelingsChangeRed flowers…
Red chocolates…
Red boxes….
Red, Red, Red…

You will almost feel like no one cares.
The pressures of Valentine’s day and the week could be overwhelming for some of you, singles but remember that #Feelings change…and that’s why one doesn’t let feelings rule one’s life.

Dear singles (old and young),
Please don’t let the pressure get to you such that you say yes to someone or a relationship that is obviously incompatible.

Please don’t say yes simply because your guys or girlfriends have been married for sooooo long and are preparing to send their kids to college.

Please don’t say yes simply because it’s been a while you’ve been intimate or being appreciated.

Please don’t say yes simply because you were presented with a brand new car, house, ring or iPhone or Samsung Note.

Please don’t say yes simply because you are lonely.

Please don’t say yes because your “match makers” think you two will be cute and make great babies together.

Just a few words…really – because I can honestly tell you that all that glitters is not gold. Some marriages and relationships are ‘cover-ups’…

So don’t let feelings rule!


The Awakening by Sonny Carroll

Introduction to The Awakening by Sonny Carroll
I actually began writing this piece in 1996 shortly after coming out of a long drawn out and painful break-up. I was a total mess. My life was in shambles and as I tried to make some sense of what had happened, and why, I began to write The Awakening. This piece is a compilation of all the lessons I learned and the observations I made about myself, about other people and their relationships.
A time comes in your life when you finally get it… When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out – ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening…

You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren’t always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are … and that’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything; it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.

You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.
You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.
You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you “stack up.”

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won’t settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it’s just life happening.

You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.


When To Say No


Most of us are programmed culturally or otherwise with the knack to please, the desire to satisfy and meet every demand often to our own detriment. When this desire is expressed without restraint it becomes a disease with dangerous repercussions. Before long, it robs and limits our best work due to crammed schedules, tasks and deliverables.  I discovered over the years that by saying no politely, firmly and without the associated guilts I noticed a significant difference in my work, focus and outputs.

Do you know that:  

Leaders say No.

When we forget who we are or fail to be self-aware of our limited resources (time, talent and treasures) we succumb to the whims and caprices of others.

Protect yourself from yourself by learning to say No.  

Saying No will help you manage the ever present fatigue, anger, frustration, bitterness and resentment that often stem from a place of over committing, over giving and going beyond what is reasonable.

Great leaders have mastered the art of saying No.

Popular Quotes

Say NO

You might have to reprogram your mind, but there is great freedom in saying NO. Saying NO to the less important frees you up to focus on the more important stuffs. So get comfortable saying No. It’s OK!

So when should you say NO?

1. When you are tired, exhausted.

2. When you are over committed.

3. When you are over exposed.

4. When you are busy and focused on the critical tasks.

5. When you are under pressure.

6. When your life or health or sanity is at risk.

7. When you’ve spread yourself thin.

8. To any relationship — platonic, business or emotional that is antagonistic to your dreams and goals.

1o. To a job that is destroying your sense of well being.

11. When you’ve become a shell of yourself.

12. If saying Yes will lead to compromising your standards.

13. If saying Yes will make you betray promises or covenants.

14. If saying Yes, will remove your inner peace.

15. When you can no longer perform at an optimal level.

16. When you do not fully understand the rationale behind the demands.

17. When you do not comprehend your position or role.

18. When you are not ready.

19. When you do not feel like it (it’s ok).

Do you have more to add to this list? I’ll love to hear your thoughts.

Be well!
Pst ‘Flo