Love, Do Good, Succeed Anyway – The Paradoxical Commandments

people are illogicalPeople are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

ParadoxicalCommandmentsPeople favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
© Copyright Kent M. Keith 1968, renewed 2001

Love, Do Good, Succeed Anyway – The Paradoxical Commandments

Am I settling, when I settle down?

There is a tension between settling and settling down!

“…some women in their twenties leave good relationships based on an elusive feeling that they could find something more with someone else, and they regret it down the road when their choices dwindle. It’s not that women aren’t willing to settle; it’s that many refuse to recognize that their vision of the perfect man doesn’t match reality.”

 – Kristine Huntley’s review on Lori Gottlieb’s book, “Marry Him, The Case for Settling For Mr. Good Enough”.

Every single ought to know these truths: 

  • There is a difference between settling and settling down.
  • There are no perfect human beings, hence no perfect relationships, spouses, marriages (don’t let the social media posts on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram rile you up.
  • All successful relationships embrace to some degree the notion of settling within settling down.
  • And, yes…there is a real struggle to be won between “SETTLING” and “SETTLING DOWN”.

Natural Inclination – FEAR OF SETTLING:
We are so afraid of settling!
Yet, most of us will eventually have to settle to settle down at some point, so we must apply great care to ensure the concept of settling down is not destroyed because we all settle.

  • I am concerned by people blinded by this fear who continue to block and prevent great relationships from developing and in some cases have inadvertently destroyed ‘wonderful’ opportunities.
  • I am concerned by some’s inability to separate fantasy from reality.
  • I am concerned that the pragmatic approach needed in some relationships have been renamed.
  • I am concerned by the heartaches, loneliness, disappointments, regrets and failed relationships.
Let’s Talk:
  1. I don’t want you living in fear of settling.
  2. I want to let you know that ALL relationships start and thrive by the delicate balance between  the pragmatic desire of “SETTLING DOWN” with the notion of “SETTLING”. In order words, most great relationships and marriages go through the process of ‘SETTLING’ to arrive at “SETTLING DOWN”.
  3. Isn’t it time to carefully appropriate these hugely popular quotes and clichés as some of them especially on “SETTLING” need to be understood and applied within the right context(s). Consider this popular quote:

REALLY? NEVER SETTLE?? I disagree!

I do however agree with the next two images (message) though:

settle

What is important is ensuring that when we settle, we do so correctly and for the right reasons. As a side note, I am reminded that when one falls in love with someone, accepting their shortcomings does not feel like settling. Isn’t that the truth?

So are you settling when you settle down? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Settle Down

I want to hear from you, let know your thoughts, do you agree or disagree?

Resources (articles & more to consider): 

  1. Why I think those who settle will eventually cheat -http://madamenoire.com/216077/the-danger-of-marrying-for-practical-purposes-why-i-think-those-who-settle-are-potential-cheaters/ 
  2. 4 Reasons not to settle
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-love-and-war/201404/4-reasons-not-settle-in-relationship

 

 

 

  • Listen to “Stop Making EXCUSES

 

Remember #RelationshipMatters!

Author: ‘Flo Falayi, Ph.D.(c) is the founder of RelationshipMatters & HybridLeaders.  He is married with kids and passionate about Leadership, Singles, Relationships and helping people maximize their life & relationships. Flo hosts and speaks at conferences, seminars and events locally and internationally.

Follow Flo On Twitter; @holyflo
Subscribe to the Leadership & Relationship Newsletter, click HERE

Am I settling, when I settle down?

Speak the language of flowers #Romance

flowers3Communication is the ability to successfully convey or share ideas, thoughts and feelings. When one communicates it is essential that one is heard and understood. Note that the art of communication extends beyond the transfer of intent, idea or thoughts and obtaining an right response or action is what confirms one is indeed communicating. If only it is so easy…(lol)

So we know that communication could be complicated and for many of us especially men, words are limiting. So here’s a tip, add to your repertoire and learn how to speak with flowers…now this assumes that whoever you are communicating with appreciates flowers. (Hint: The first rule of communication is to know the ‘audience’ tailor accordingly).

Class is in session – take notes!

Listen - “After women, flowers are the most lovely thing God has given the world.” – Christian Dior

flowers 1

Do not forget that – “The earth laughs in flowers.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

No better time than NOW: “Don’t send me flowers when I’m dead. If you like me, send them while I’m alive.” –  Brian Clough

Everything matters especially the little things – “Forests, lakes, and rivers, clouds and winds, stars and flowers, stupendous glaciers and crystal snowflakes – every form of animate or inanimate existence, leaves its impress upon the soul of man.” – Orison Swett Marden

flower2

Before you purchase or present your next bouquet, you should know what that means – 

  • Ambrosia symbolizes: Love returned
  • Amethyst symbolizes: Admiration
  • Azalea symbolizes: Romance
  • Camellia symbolizes: Steadfast love
  • Pink carnations mean: “I’ll never forget you”
  • Cherry blossom symbolizes: Spiritual beauty
  • Daisies symbolizes: Innocence
  • Gardenia mean: “You’re lovely”
  • Geraniums mean: “A secret rendezvous”
  • Hazel symbolizes: Reconciliation
  • Iris symbolizes: A flame of passion
  • Lilac symbolizes: New love and innocence
  • Lily symbolizes: Sweetness
  • Orchids mean: “You are beautiful”
  • Peach means: “You are unique”
  • Rosemary symbolizes: Remembrance
  • Tulips (red) mean: “My perfect lover”
  • Tulips mean: “You mean everything”
  • Violets mean: Faithfulness

Remember #RelationshipMatters!

Author: ‘Flo Falayi, Ph.D.(c) is the founder of RelationshipMatters & HybridLeaders.org.  He is married with kids and passionate about maximizing life, leadership & relationships. Flo hosts and speaks at conferences, seminars and events locally and internationally.

Follow Flo On Twitter; @holyflo
Subscribe to the Leadership & Relationship Newsletter, click HERE

Previous post by Flo - “HOW TO MAKE LOVE WITH YOUR CLOTHES ON”

List originally collated by Gregory Godek
Image sources: etsy.com, pinterest.com & google images.

Speak the language of flowers #Romance

Happy Mother’s Day (1 of 2)

Happy #Mother’s Day!

This is the first of two Mother’s Day in 2015 and marks the celebration of mothers in Nigeria, London and other countries.

Moms are super heroes…and God’s gift to humanity, so today we celebrate all mothers for their steadfast love, passion, consistence, devotion, prayers, grace, belief, hard work and much more.

Thank you so much Moms for all you do and may God bless you all.

From the RelationshipsDoMatter Team

Image: SWBC (via google)

Happy Mother’s Day (1 of 2)

Powerful #Quotes to consider

Powerful Quotes to rouse sleeping giants from slumber.

Powerful 

Be a DOER not just a DREAMER.

#1: Stop worrying!
“A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work.” – John Lubbock

#2: Rise up!
“When you are lazy, you must work twice.” – Anon

#3: Stop dreaming, wake up!
“Wishing has never made a poor man wealthy.” – Anon

#4: “All men are alike in their promises. It is only in their deeds that they different.” – (Moliere)

#5: Don’t tell me about invisible faith.
“True faith has hands and feet.” – Anon

#6: Less is more!
“The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.” – Anon

#7: Say NO to mediocrity.
“Anytime you indulge mediocrity in others it increases your mediocrity.

#8: There is no Future in the Past
Your DESTINY and calling in life is always forward, never backward.”

#9: Start Today!
“Someday is not a day of the week.” – Anon

#10: The difference between a fool and a wise man is visible.
“The wise man does at once what the fool does finally.” – Balthasar Gracian

#11: Don’t waste time.
“By the street of By and By, one arrives at the house of never.” – Miguel de Cervantes

Powerful #Quotes to consider

What Love is…

What Love Is

“Some think love can be measured by the amount of butterflies in their tummy.
Others think love can be measured in bunches of flowers, or by using the words ‘for ever.’ But love can only truly be measured by actions.

It can be a small thing, such as peeling an orange for a person you love because you know they don’t like doing it.” – Marian Keyes

Indeed, Love could be a combination of all the actions listed, or some or simply one.

What Love is…

[New Post] How to Make Love With Your Clothes On

BirdCan we be honest? Everyone’s looking for a perfect relationship yet no one is willing to work hard for it.

A vibrant loving relationship is indeed challenging mentally and physically but the feedback from those who put in the hard work and pay the price is encouraging, because they all confirmed the great success that follows the efforts. In their words, the rewards are well worth it! So don’t ‘cop’ out, put in the work necessary.

In the same spirit of being honest, there is no doubt that we all struggle with romance but personally I am finding that the key is in initiating, taking small steps, being consistent and never becoming complacent or insensitive. Some of the insights (tips) I hold dear till date came from David & Anne Frahm’s book, titled “How To Make Love With Your Clothes On” below:

  • The firm foundations of a romantic relationship are built upon the delights of surprise
  • Little things mean the world to women”
  • Catching a woman off guard ‘now and then adds drama to a marriage, that most women crave.

Listed below are 10 ways to make love with your clothes on and I want to dare you to try them out, the results will surprise you.

Hugs-and-Kiss-Free

  1. Leave a ‘provocative’ message for your spouse on the answering machine
  2. Open the car door for her, both getting in and getting out
  3. Call her during the day just to tell her you love her and that you’ve been thinking about her
  4. At an unsuspecting moment, sweep her into your arms and tell her that she’s your best friend
  5. Ask her opinion on an important decision you’ve got to make
  6. Pray with her over her concerns
  7. Compliment her on her appearance
  8. Tape a note to the bathroom scale that says “Just Right”
  9. Surprise her with flowers because it’s true that “Flowers like women, bring beauty into the world and they belong together”
  10. Make time to talk and listen

I will love to hear from you the ones that worked for you as well as others you are trying out or have tried or heard of. In addition, do you need help in your relationship(s), marriage or life? Remember, you are not alone, help is available. Email info@relationshipsdomatter.com

Author: ‘Flo Falayi, Ph.D.(c) is a preacher, speaker and author. A husband and father with a passion for reviving and empowering the next generation. Flo hosts and speaks at conferences, seminars and events nationally on Leadership and Relationship Mattters.

Follow Flo On Twitter; @holyflo
Subscribe to the Leadership & Relationship Newsletter, click HERE

[New Post] How to Make Love With Your Clothes On