Can we be honest? Everyone’s looking for a perfect relationship yet no one is willing to work hard for it.
A vibrant loving relationship is indeed challenging mentally and physically but the feedback from those who put in the hard work and pay the price is encouraging, because they all confirmed the great success that follows the efforts. In their words, the rewards are well worth it! So don’t ‘cop’ out, put in the work necessary.
In the same spirit of being honest, there is no doubt that we all struggle with romance but personally I am finding that the key is in initiating, taking small steps, being consistent and never becoming complacent or insensitive. Some of the insights (tips) I hold dear till date came from David & Anne Frahm’s book, titled “How To Make Love With Your Clothes On” below:
The firm foundations of a romantic relationship are built upon the delights of surprise
Little things mean the world to women”
Catching a woman off guard ‘now and then adds drama to a marriage, that most women crave.
Listed below are 10 ways to make love with your clothes on and I want to dare you to try them out, the results will surprise you.
Leave a ‘provocative’ message for your spouse on the answering machine
Open the car door for her, both getting in and getting out
Call her during the day just to tell her you love her and that you’ve been thinking about her
At an unsuspecting moment, sweep her into your arms and tell her that she’s your best friend
Ask her opinion on an important decision you’ve got to make
Pray with her over her concerns
Compliment her on her appearance
Tape a note to the bathroom scale that says “Just Right”
Surprise her with flowers because it’s true that “Flowers like women, bring beauty into the world and they belong together”
Make time to talk and listen
I will love to hear from you the ones that worked for you as well as others you are trying out or have tried or heard of. In addition, do you need help in your relationship(s), marriage or life? Remember, you are not alone, help is available. Email firstname.lastname@example.org
Author: ‘Flo Falayi, Ph.D.(c) is a preacher, speaker and author. A husband and father with a passion for reviving and empowering the next generation. Flo hosts and speaks at conferences, seminars and events nationally on Leadership and Relationship Mattters.
Follow Flo On Twitter; @holyflo Subscribe to the Leadership & Relationship Newsletter, click HERE
Without a doubt, I believe that within each one of us are great possibilities, dreams and endless potentials wired divinely by God that are eventually revealed in time. These divine impulses, codes, imprints and possibilities are often ignored, silenced, and discarded as we grow up and face the challenging and often difficult ‘life experiences’ that build the barriers in our hearts and minds.
Transition: Doubts and unbelief.
Eventually, we go from believing all things are possible to accepting only those ‘few’ things that are possible. Gradually, we become a shell of our confident selves and become custodians of limitations due to our life experiences and stories. Trapped and no longer in tune with our destiny, we limit those God given dreams and opportunities within us with being ‘real’ and ‘practical’. We attribute creativity to a select few and literally shut down mentally, creatively and emotionally when new ideas, dreams or visions are discussed or mentioned. We become victims of limitations and the very popular “cold truth” but I refuse that prison term, I know there is a better life.
Our best days lie ahead of us, with our words we can frame our thoughts and those thoughts can guide our actions and eventually set (or reset) our destinies. Each day presents a great opportunity to focus on God’s dream for your life and not getting mad or angry. Regain and reclaim lost time…start with your words;
You are not a loser, looking for a lucky break
You are not a failure, looking for a good streak
You are not an accident or a disappointment
You are not hopeless and useless
Actually, anyone that calls you a loser is a loser
Anyone that calls you a failure is a failure
You need to build up the right winning attitude and mindset with your words. Winning isn’t something we seek but something we are. Start each day confirming who you are and declaring who you were born to be. Don’t wait to react to the wrong name(s) when you can set yourself up right by confessing.
I do believe that each day, should and could be special and unique.
Feel free to recite or use them for yourself and loved ones. Oh by the way, I am also giving out a work book filled with simple, practical but insightful truths to say over your life and your loved ones each day – it’s FREE so get yours today, Request for yours here
Valentine’s Day is a few days away and the buildup continues…listed below are some gift ideas ranging from the simple to slightly moderate and a few moderate to hard ones. I hope the list stirs your creativity as you celebrate the one(s) you love.
Collate his/her favorite music songs – a Valentine’s Day Collections
Bake Cake or Cookies
Give “Time” Gift Cards – in 1, 5, 10, 24 Hours
Volunteer at a local charity event
Oh by the way, a personal recommendation, my book, “Relationships Do Matter”
(on Amazon for $2.99), is filled with simple, practical and relevant relationship insights on building and maximizing relationships aimed directly at Singles and indirectly at Couples promises to be a nice Valentine’s Day addition. It is filled with memorable snippets that will inspire, instruct, challenge and provoke you to elevate your relationship IQ. Available on Amazon, get your copy here: Relationships Do Matter
There is a lot to say and yes a lot has been said already…but decided to add my opinion as well after I read on CNN, that someone gave 5 middle school kids (watchCNN) typically between the ages of 11 – 13, a 50 Shades of Grey themed puzzle that’s when I knew I could no longer be silent. I wasn’t necessarily surprised by the acclaimed book’s success and it’s continued buzz towards the movie’s release…the more a fantasy is fed and nurtured the more it demands. My opinion: “Don’t indulge your ‘fantasy’ by watching this movie…”
For the record, this post isn’t about debating the pros and cons but rather it is about highlighting some facts to the ‘undecided’ or the silent ones who would rather remain ‘unknown’ or unperturbed by movies and how critical they are in shifting mindsets. I know some could refute my comments based on their self-will and how movies are simply petty amusements to be consumed in moderation. This post is really for those still open minded enough to listen to the dialogue about the potential dangers of a ‘boundary less’ life or relationship. I hope you read this and decide to take a stand even if privately and to at the least become a fierce defender of your heart because the ‘issues of life’ reside inside the heart. In the words of Peter Marshall, “If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.” So guard your heart and your eyes (your inlet points) and consider the other options listed below as well.
I have a strong conviction that by taking a position, “The future generations (including our children) will thank us.”
The new movie, Fifty Shades of Grey is more than a romantic, silly Valentine’s day entertainment and I am certain it will significantly alter our cultural landscape further especially as it pertains to ‘SEX’.
For those that do not even know what “Fifty Shades of Grey” means, here’s a brief summary – The movie titled Fifty Shades of Grey hits theaters in a few days, just in time for Valentine’s Day and while it is being promoted as a romantic story of a rich handsome man who charms a young innocent lady with lavish gifts and bold declarations of desire.” SOURCE It is actually more about a sexually explicit relationship between a college student and a businessman filled with fantasies, bondage sex, dominance, submissive sex and much more. In fact, according to Washington Post, the novel was a massive hit with an estimated 100 million readers — mostly women“.
According to CNN: there are two common themes of sadomasochism and bondage in the movie/book -CNN
When it comes to this movie, there are three positions/camps:
The “No Harm- so do nothing”: It’s entertainment don’t get riled up and you should only watch the movie if you want and have fun.
The “Harmful – Do Something (Don’t watch, Support Charities etc)”: This position is more articulate about the dangers of sexual deviancy, pornography, addiction etc and has begun series of actions to sensitized people to the prevailing dangers to the society.
Finally, The Undecided: Uncertain, perhaps even unaware that such a movie exists and probably do not care for it.
This unrelenting movement designed to poison souls, damage innocent souls and destroy every thing good especially sex isn’t simply entertainment. It’s time to WAKE UP!
“Hollywood is advertising the Fifty Shades story as an erotic love affair, but it is really about sexual abuse and violence against women,” said Dawn Hawkins, executive director of National Center on Sexual Exploitation. “Read More here” Eventually, it will spill across the globe…we’ve seen this before.
Leilani Haywood’s post (in the Charisma Magazine) on Fifty Shades of Grey is probably the position that best captures my sentiment about the movie. So let me just be upfront here…”I am not interested in watching a movie that glorifies sexual violence towards women period and will tell my readers, subscribers and anyone who cares to listen that this movie does more harm than good. Isn’t it so ironical that our society’s desire to reduce domestic violence publicly is met with another blockbuster movie (slant) that glorifies bondage, perverted sex and violence. What a contradiction!
Heads up: If you have kids, get ready to talk about this movie at some point considering Target and other stores now have toys e.g. teddy bears with handcuffs available for purchase, more here: marketing opportunities and demands.
Forest Benedict’s article on addiction, pornography is important here, here’s an excerpt – “A study published in the Journal of Women’s Health in 2013 examined themes in Fifty Shades of Grey, with the help of abuse and sexual practice experts. The results revealed that the book has extensive instances of emotional abuse, sexual violence, and reactions by the victim that are typical of abused women. The conclusion of the study was this:
“Our analysis identified patterns in Fifty Shades that reflect pervasive intimate partner violence—one of the biggest problems of our time.
Further, our analysis adds to a growing body of literature noting dangerous violence standards being perpetuated in popular culture.”
I cannot in good conscience support any establishment that spreads messages such as this through the showing of Fifty Shades of Grey or movies like it. Pervasive pornography already has a stranglehold on our society and I believe this movie perpetuates messages that hurt all of us, especially the most vulnerable, our children.”
Addiction, Pornography and Sexual bondage is not funny and many souls are trapped and bound to their ‘private’ pleasures. This is a pervasive stronghold on many marriages, relationships today and there is HELP AVAILABLE. Get ONLINE help with this great filtering software for your spouse and children’s devices from Covenant Eyes: CHECK IT OUT
“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” – Ann Landers
“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” – Henry Van Dyke #RelationshipMatters
“Love is a game that two can play and both win.” – Eva Gabor #RelationshipMatters
Hello All: Happy New Week!
Here’s an interesting post on the difference(s) between the sexes (male and female). The difference(s) is often subtle but if left unchecked, can gradually become extremely complicated and challenging in relationships. Isn’t this true though?