21 SUGGESTIONS FOR S*U*C*C*E*S*S BY H.Jackson Brown, Jr.

21 SUGGESTIONS FOR S*U*C*C*E*S*S BY H.Jackson Brown, Jr.red-rounded-rectangle-with-number-21-clip-art_418404.jpg

  1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
  2. Work at something you enjoy and that’s worthy of your time and talent.
  3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
  4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
  5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
  6. Be generous.
  7. Have a grateful heart.
  8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
  9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
  10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
  11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
  12. Commit yourself to quality.
  13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
  14. Be loyal.
  15. Be honest.
  16. Be a self-starter.
  17. Be decisive even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong.
  18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
  19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the thing you didn’t do more than the ones you did.
  20. Take good care of those you love.
  21. Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make your Mom proud.

Graphics, courtesy of ‘freepik.com;

…Creating an Unlimited Future.

Well, I must confess speaking at the annual ‘Readers are Leaders’ Day is slowly becoming one of my favorite annual event. It is such an honor to encourage and consciously invest in the next generation and we must not take such opportunities for granted.

Indeed readers are leaders, and there is a particular sequence of events that I’ve found particularly exciting and guess what this day was no exception. As I completed my reading from the chapter, Smile from my book, Get Off Your Duff, I saw that ‘twinkle’ of hope in many little eyes. As is customary, I asked them to ask any questions they might have and it’s the last one that seems to seal the deal every time.

It’s the only one that seems to turn my tour (reading session) into a ‘noise-fest’ of sorts, the ‘are you an author’ question? As soon as I answer in the affirmative, I can literally hear the pin drop, these kids look at themselves and start whispering as if trying to determine who would bell the cat.

As always, what happens next makes me smile.
“Awesome”, “Cool” shouted one of the kids followed by ‘wait for it’ – CAN I GET AN AUTOGRAPH? Absolutely I responded and let’s just say with each autograph I created a future of unlimited possibility.

an unlimited future indeed.

Friends, whenever and wherever you get a chance, please do the same and create an unlimited future for the younger ones because relationships really do matter and I believe that!


Marriage = Hard Work; So Roll Up Your Sleeves.

It has been an interesting week and just before the weekend kicks off I wanted to stir the pot. For many who so desperately long for marriage, let me break the news to you as gently as possible.

Marriage requires a lot of hard work. It’s indeed a ‘what you put into it, is what you get proposition’. Don’t panic! I didn’t say Marriage is impossible, I simply said it demands your commitment and that’s hard work. By hard work, I am simply stating the obvious and preparing you for what lies ahead. Hard work doesn’t eliminate the fun, passion, excitement and fulfilment but it means ‘children’ should be barred from engaging in it until they are matured enough to appreciate and enjoy working hard for marriage will not work for the immature, lazy, selfish and self absorbed.

If you’ve ever bought a piece of furniture that requires assembly especially those in multiple boxes then you can probably relate. Within those boxes (holding your beautiful pieces of furniture) are instruction booklets. Here’s the obvious, your beautiful furniture is dependent on your adherence, strict adherence to the series of instructions (including recommended tools, sequence etc).

If you trivialize the assembly process, you create a ‘monster’.
If you second-guess the instructions, you waste time.
If you outsource the instructions, you display your lack of knowledge.

Actually, your absolute adherence doesn’t make you dumb, it confirms your wisdom. It saves you time, it makes you happy and fulfilled. I can see you smiling already.

So why don’t we apply the same approach to these ‘marriage’ instructions?
Roll up your sleeves.
Make some room.
Place a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door.
Now read below.

Here are the four ‘Must Dos’ for Every Husband. (Single Men, take note and confirm if you are ready)
Using the perfect allegory from Eph 5:25-28 (MSG)

Husbands, go all out in your LOVE for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—

  1. A love marked by GIVING not GETTING.
  2. A love that makes the bride WHOLE (proud, bold, confident and assured).
  3. Your WORDS must EVOKE her beauty consistently.
  4. Everything you do and say is designed to bring the BEST out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness,

That is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

Wives surprisingly, here is the one ‘Must do’. (Single Ladies, read below to confirm if you are ready)

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise SUBMIT to their husbands (not to another man, only your husband please).

Let’s agree to disagree, but these are non-negotiable.
Now are you ready for hard work, oops marriage?

A Generational Call: A Tease.

Friends, Here is a tease.

Our relationships within and without matter. The endemic nature of ‘copy cats’ is a function of unclear purpose in our relationships in the family unit, in the societies, our nations, our businesses and organizations. The absence of purpose is easy to identify.

In certain instances, it’s visible in the organization’s ineffective babbling or mumbled tirade. In others, it’s simply a knack for maintaining the status quo.

Purpose is integral to life. Without it, people live as shadows or echos and sadly die ‘full’. Yes, die FULL of the gifts, abilities, capabilities and endowments that were innate from genesis. There is more to the accumulation of wealth, there is more to the pursuit of praise of men, there is more to life believe me there is and there must be. A purposeful entity is a sight to behold, a dynamic, marvelous and effective power house. When seen in operation, it is authentic, relevant and useful.

Charity starts at ‘home’ –

As a pastor and a servant leader, I must start within…"The Church especially in the Diaspora" must do more than replicate it’s roots…she is a Hybrid, a rare breed. The Church in Diaspora must integrate, interact and empower her people to articulate the limitless power of God, the ever relevant gospel of Christ as well as engaging in community and city restoration whilst retaining her relevance to her roots. That is a noble assignment…and we can and must fulfil this mission.

You and I are on the precipice of a divine global movement. It is a restlessness of the soul. It can’t be satisfied with the mundane. It is the call of purpose…It is the call of a generation…It is a call from the deep. So you must get ready to listen like Samuel…(stay tuned).

Love and Appreciate you,


Just for Men: Get Off the Lazy Chair…

We are facing a CRISIS!

President John F. Kennedy once said, ‘Crisis when written in Chinese, is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.’ Many relationships are facing CRISIS, as I travel and conduct workshops, I hear these ramblings fairly frequently. (If you are on the East Coast (DMV Axis), don’t miss the Friday, April 13th event – Click here: http://relationshipsdomatter.com/2012/04/09/single-in-the-city-with-pst-flo-dmv-area-april-13th-2012/

There is a direct correlation between the healthy state of the community and each relationship. A healthy home base is paramount to a healthy community, society, state and nation. So a call to discuss relationship issues must be seen as noble and wise because vibrant relationships influence and dramatically impact the community.

A common theme limiting our healthy state is the blame game especially when one is caught behaving badly.

When men stop paying attention, or become unattached or when men no longer do what really matters in relationships then there is trouble brewing, a monumental shift, a crisis and they have no one but themselves to blame. That’s right no one but themselves.

When men get busy on the cross roads of life, making rash compromises for cheap and insatiable frills or getting too busy and forgetting  the vital relationships ingredients e.g. admiration, respect, trust, truthfulness, patience, kindness, sincerity and gentleness then fail to admit to their faults then there is a problem.
I hear of those who play the blame game,  riddled with some of these well rehearsed stories (actually excuses);

…she made me do it.
…she wasn’t available.
…she stopped listening to me.
…she ignored me.
…she forced my hand.
…she did this and that.

to questions like –
Why do you go home so late all the time? (Married)
Why did you leave for another woman? (Married)
Why are you double-dating? (Single)
Why are you playing the field? (Single)
Why are you cruel, mean, wicked, lazy, complacent…? (Either)

Honestly, men, are you kidding me ?

She made you leave your kids ? Become lethargic, pathetic and mediocre ?
Really, she did that ? Are you suggesting she’s that powerful ?

This trick is as old as old can be; recall the story of the first man, Adam who used this lame excuse in the book of Genesis when confronted by God for what was clearly a case of absent leadership. Men playing ‘Adam’, feigning ignorance and acting dumb when they ought to stand up and do right by all is unacceptable. Men behaving badly, sadly abdicating their responsibilities with no regard for moral, cultural and spiritual etiquette, decorum, and expectation is clearly a No, NO!

Here’s a glimpse of how it went down in Genesis chapter 3:8-13.

8 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the LORD God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the LORD God among the trees. 9 Then the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?” 10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.” 11 “Who told you that you were naked?” the LORD God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?” 12 The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.”

What a sorry excuse!
See, the blame game is indicative of a mediocre mind. A mind that wants to be safe and do the minimum required. I love this quote by Jill Robinson, that states “There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with. Love shouldn’t be one of them. Anything less than extraordinary is a waste of my time.”

So Men, complain all you want about this challenge but it is absolutely necessary we talk about the ‘hard stuff’ now. It is time we quit the excuses.
It’s time we give up on the blame game, get off our lazy chairs and ‘man up’ in our relationships.

No excuses will ‘cut it’, Man Up! Man Up! Man Up!!

Relationship Matters

“Single in the City” with Pst Flo: DMV Area – April 13th, 2012

Hello Friends,
Don’t miss the Special Relationship Event in the "Maryland, Washington, DC and Virginia" Area titled "Single in the City".
Get ready to experience a reinvigorating, refreshing, liberating evening filled with fun, laughs, tears and authentic conversations on Love & Relationships. It promises to be a refreshing and insightful evening…don’t miss it!

Don’t forget..Relationships Do Matter.