My dear (name withheld), I hope this letter meets you well.
Well, you’ve asked for more and in the interest of time I realized that an open letter would be ideal. But why, you blatantly uttered and recall my response, you are not alone, there are many others who would find this useful.
You’ve been disappointed by the facade and I could tell from the frown, you have no more tolerance for lengthy speeches so I will spare you. You didn’t have much to say yet I felt your pain. You were vibrant, naive and unassuming only to feel like it’s just another joke.
You’ve come to your wit’s end and have labelled this journey, yep the ‘relationship’ journey a mirage filled with it’s incessant turns and challenges. I am a firm believer in love, a hopeless romantic, fun loving, realistic expectations and optimistic outlook yet all for nothing. Why am I the odd one out ? Why does it appear I am making a mistake? Is there no value for standing tall for something?
Why should I continue to be different?
Why bother being a ‘goody-two shoes’ ?
Why shouldn’t I just go with the majority and be like everyone else?
Why bother with the risk of ridicule, indifference and jeers ?
Why bother confronting average, a state many would rather assume is ideal ?
Why be different when it’s easy to blend in ?
Why bother you ask ?
I know why you’ve asked for my opinion, you know I will be as sincere as can be, I will be honest, poignant and ‘matter-of-fact’ direct.
I do feel your pain, you’re struggling, pressured, overwhelmed and frustrated. I sense your desire to buckle, give in and be like almost everyone. I honestly knew how serious you were when you insisted that it’s probably better to be average than exceptional. It is now getting tougher as the last wall of defense has begun to break down too with family and close friends even those you admired and trusted for sound counsel all insist that the issue is your personal interpretation. That perhaps you’ve misinterpreted that same script of living right, standing tall and not compromising your ideals and values. They are comparing you with others…now that hurts.
I am concerned because you sounded so ‘weak’, your resolve ebbing, your gaze distant and not surprising grounds once gained you are now ready to concede. Your stance and disposition speaks volume, I can see and hear that much…
So I won’t sugar coat my response; I won’t speak over you in hope that somehow that will keep you afloat for a few.
I won’t go for the quick fix.
So here goes:
You are right, average appears easy and I do admit that the natural tendency to adopt such a position is natural in time. That ‘monster’- PRESSURE (peer, societal, age etc) is real.
The pressure to succumb to the majority, the pressure to fit in, the pressure to ‘steady the boat’, the pressure to be accepted and the pressure to be average. Well, before you tune me out can you please give me a few minutes and listen to my story?
Well, your response will determine mine, so it’s your call – I am waiting.
(To be continued if you tell me so…)