Category Archives: Relationships

Question of the Week-end: Compatibility

The issue of compatibility is very crucial for any relationship  – emotional, physical or otherwise.

Here’s this week-end’s question: “CAN TWO WALK TOGETHER IF THEY ARE NOT IN AGREEMENT?”

This is an important question to consider if you are in a relationship – physical, business or career. By the way,  don’t ask “are we compatible?” rather ask “How…am I compatible with this individual,  or team?”

While we are on the subject of #Questions, check out my new book, “127 Questions Singles Must Ask Their Future Spouse”  – NOW AVAILABLE Click here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00V3PSX9G

#RelationshipMatters #127Questions #NewBook  #Questions #Dating #Marriage #Men #Women #Ladies #Wedding #Singles #Love #EngagedCouples 

Are you a mummy’s boy? [New Book – #127Questions]

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#Singles Don’t ask him if he is a ‘momma’s boy’, rather ask him if he has ever disagreed with his #mother? Then follow up with a when, why and where.

New Book, out in May, 2015 – Get your copy now (pre-order) on Amazon.com, click here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00V3PSX9G

#RelationshipMatters #127Questions #NewBook #Amazon #Questions #Dating #Marriage #Men #Women #Ladies 

Speak the language of flowers #Romance

flowers3Communication is the ability to successfully convey or share ideas, thoughts and feelings. When one communicates it is essential that one is heard and understood. Note that the art of communication extends beyond the transfer of intent, idea or thoughts and obtaining an right response or action is what confirms one is indeed communicating. If only it is so easy…(lol)

So we know that communication could be complicated and for many of us especially men, words are limiting. So here’s a tip, add to your repertoire and learn how to speak with flowers…now this assumes that whoever you are communicating with appreciates flowers. (Hint: The first rule of communication is to know the ‘audience’ tailor accordingly).

Class is in session – take notes!

Listen – “After women, flowers are the most lovely thing God has given the world.” – Christian Dior

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Do not forget that – “The earth laughs in flowers.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

No better time than NOW: “Don’t send me flowers when I’m dead. If you like me, send them while I’m alive.” –  Brian Clough

Everything matters especially the little things – “Forests, lakes, and rivers, clouds and winds, stars and flowers, stupendous glaciers and crystal snowflakes – every form of animate or inanimate existence, leaves its impress upon the soul of man.” – Orison Swett Marden

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Before you purchase or present your next bouquet, you should know what that means – 

  • Ambrosia symbolizes: Love returned
  • Amethyst symbolizes: Admiration
  • Azalea symbolizes: Romance
  • Camellia symbolizes: Steadfast love
  • Pink carnations mean: “I’ll never forget you”
  • Cherry blossom symbolizes: Spiritual beauty
  • Daisies symbolizes: Innocence
  • Gardenia mean: “You’re lovely”
  • Geraniums mean: “A secret rendezvous”
  • Hazel symbolizes: Reconciliation
  • Iris symbolizes: A flame of passion
  • Lilac symbolizes: New love and innocence
  • Lily symbolizes: Sweetness
  • Orchids mean: “You are beautiful”
  • Peach means: “You are unique”
  • Rosemary symbolizes: Remembrance
  • Tulips (red) mean: “My perfect lover”
  • Tulips mean: “You mean everything”
  • Violets mean: Faithfulness

Remember #RelationshipMatters!

Author: ‘Flo Falayi, Ph.D.(c) is the founder of RelationshipMatters & HybridLeaders.org.  He is married with kids and passionate about maximizing life, leadership & relationships. Flo hosts and speaks at conferences, seminars and events locally and internationally.

Follow Flo On Twitter; @holyflo
Subscribe to the Leadership & Relationship Newsletter, click HERE

Previous post by Flo – “HOW TO MAKE LOVE WITH YOUR CLOTHES ON”

List originally collated by Gregory Godek
Image sources: etsy.com, pinterest.com & google images.

[New Post] How to Make Love With Your Clothes On

BirdCan we be honest? Everyone’s looking for a perfect relationship yet no one is willing to work hard for it.

A vibrant loving relationship is indeed challenging mentally and physically but the feedback from those who put in the hard work and pay the price is encouraging, because they all confirmed the great success that follows the efforts. In their words, the rewards are well worth it! So don’t ‘cop’ out, put in the work necessary.

In the same spirit of being honest, there is no doubt that we all struggle with romance but personally I am finding that the key is in initiating, taking small steps, being consistent and never becoming complacent or insensitive. Some of the insights (tips) I hold dear till date came from David & Anne Frahm’s book, titled “How To Make Love With Your Clothes On” below:

  • The firm foundations of a romantic relationship are built upon the delights of surprise
  • Little things mean the world to women”
  • Catching a woman off guard ‘now and then adds drama to a marriage, that most women crave.

Listed below are 10 ways to make love with your clothes on and I want to dare you to try them out, the results will surprise you.

Hugs-and-Kiss-Free

  1. Leave a ‘provocative’ message for your spouse on the answering machine
  2. Open the car door for her, both getting in and getting out
  3. Call her during the day just to tell her you love her and that you’ve been thinking about her
  4. At an unsuspecting moment, sweep her into your arms and tell her that she’s your best friend
  5. Ask her opinion on an important decision you’ve got to make
  6. Pray with her over her concerns
  7. Compliment her on her appearance
  8. Tape a note to the bathroom scale that says “Just Right”
  9. Surprise her with flowers because it’s true that “Flowers like women, bring beauty into the world and they belong together”
  10. Make time to talk and listen

I will love to hear from you the ones that worked for you as well as others you are trying out or have tried or heard of. In addition, do you need help in your relationship(s), marriage or life? Remember, you are not alone, help is available. Email info@relationshipsdomatter.com

Author: ‘Flo Falayi, Ph.D.(c) is a preacher, speaker and author. A husband and father with a passion for reviving and empowering the next generation. Flo hosts and speaks at conferences, seminars and events nationally on Leadership and Relationship Mattters.

Follow Flo On Twitter; @holyflo
Subscribe to the Leadership & Relationship Newsletter, click HERE

Don’t ignite the old flames. #AffairProof Series

Here’s the question … “Should or Can I be friends with my OLD FLAME (single, married, divorced, widowed) on social media”?

My first answer is ask your spouse or fiancée.
My second is NO….even if I don’t have all the facts about the specifics, context and background.
My third, even when I have more information is still remain NO.

Here’s why- social media’s dark side…harbors inappropriate behavior which could lead to lust and eventually sin.

A wise king in the bible admonished us to never arouse love, passion prematurely in the book of Ecclesiastes and it’s safe to apply this same principle to a past lover, relationship or marriage.

Psychologists report an increase in stressed relationships due in part to increased online, casual relationships. For many, it starts as a casual discussion, a business transaction, a search for a confidant, a ‘let me say hi’ intention and such noble intentions but what invariably develops threatens the ‘real’ and established relationships, I have observed marriages destroyed and engagements called off due to such discreet affairs.

However, a good rule of the thumb to observe is setting boundaries, drawing a line.
Here are pointers to help you identify if you have crossed the line –

You share intimate secrets about your relationship, marriage with the other party.
You seek intimate counsel from each other.
You introduce a third or forth character into your marital bed.
You make subtle comparisons between your ‘social friend’ and your spouse.
You spend excessive hours online alone and away from your spouse.

And here are additional tips by Ms Marjie Killeen Wilmette (author and contributor to the online group makeitbetter.net), these signs she wrote are definitely signs one’s online relationship has crossed the line:
You think about the ‘social friend’ all the time, and constantly await emails, likes, RTs and texts.
You fantasize about your ex, and find ways to bring him or her up in your conversations.
You start seeing your marriage differently; feel it’s lacking, begin to find fault with your SPOUSE.
You wonder if you and your old flame were really meant to be together again.
You keep your social interaction/relationship a secret from your spouse.
You make plans to meet your ex in person.

So what do you think? Be honest!

It’s your choice, will you make your relationship (marriage, dating, engagement etc) healthy? If yes, then don’t cross these lines…because #Relationships really Do Matter.

WHY MEN CHEAT!

A compilation of reasons from the ‘conversation’ on the Relationships Do Matter (RDM) Chat Room. Let us know what you think?

  1. Background & Experience: Many folks come from dysfunctional backgrounds, for example, Father or Dad had a few girlfriends and/or a few wives and never
    considered the issue of faithfulness or accountability as important.
  2. Dark pasts and challenges with sexual addictions or issues e.g. pornography, masturbation, fornication and never truly addressing these issues.
  3. Men refusing to face the real issues at home, hence avoiding issues or refusing to address issues appropriately and promptly.
  4. The failure to learn and discover pertinent truths via renewing the mind and daily discipline of studying the word, prayer and meditation.
  5. The failure to move on from the past relationships and dalliances.
  6. The societal or cultural mood (public opinion) being less condemning or more accepting.
  7. The lack of passion in teaching and mentoring young ones by the older ones including parental responsibilities.
  8. The lack of emotional connection between husband and wife.
  9. The thrill and excitement of pursuing the ‘forbidden’.
  10. Lack of effort in the marriage leading to boredom, consider how many men attend marriage enrichment sessions, seminars, workshops
  11. The diluted emphasis on righteousness, purity, holiness in the church. ‘
  12. The absence of boundaries in interacting with the opposite sex at work, events etc
  13. And perhaps the most popular reason – simply because they want to or they can.

Well, if you think this is only for men think again as the appropriate title really is WHY PEOPLE CHEAT, because both MEN AND WOMEN can but should they?

Remember, temptation is not sin.
Yielding to temptation is the sin. So pray the Lord’s prayer often and don’t think you are alone…for the temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” – 1 Cor 10:13

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Remember, Relationships Do Matter.

pFlo

PS: Join us on Saturday for Movie and Dinner (A RDM Event).
click here for details: https://www.facebook.com/events/370799199702053/

Movie Title: Tyler Perry‘s New Movie – TEMPTATIONS.

Date: Saturday, April 6th @4pm CST.

Venue:
1011 South Delano Court East Chicago, IL 60605

Wish We’d Known: 15 Things No One Told Us About Having an Affair – iVillage

Folks, I stumbled upon this piece online and couldn’t help sharing. Please read and pass along.
Remember Relationships Do Matter.PFlo

15 Things No One Told Us About Having an Affair

  1. It Probably Started Out Innocently.
  2. You won’t consider the ramifications until it’s too late.
  3. You will try to justify it.
  4. The excitement will fuel you.
  5. You will live in constant fear.
  6. The Guilt will be All consuming.
  7. Affairs are expensive.
  8. You will pull away from your friends.
  9. Sleep will be something you used to do.
  10. You will discover that no relationships is perfect.
  11. Guarding your phone or your computer will be a full time job.
  12. You will worry you will say the wrong name at the wrong time.
  13. The new sex will get old, soon.
  14. To conceal or confuse, both options suck.
  15. You will have regrets.

Article culled from iVillage.com
Image Source: thetechnicalauthor

12.Things

On 12:12:12, do these –

  1. Subscribe/Sign up for the Relationships Do Matter Newsletter (January 2013)
  2. Like the Relationships Do Matter Page on Facebook.
  3. Follow @relationshipsdm on Twitter
  4. Subscribe to the RelationshipMattersTV on YouTube
  5. Join the Relationships Do Matter Community on Google+
  6. Download the Relationships Do Matter App on itunes or Google Play
  7. Subscribe to RelationshipMatters podcast on itunes.
  8. Join the conversation/chat and mingle with others on Relationship Matters Group on Facebook.
  9. Download some radio recordings (mp3s) of Relationship Matters w. Pst Flo
  10. Get a free copy of Vibrant Relationships Confessions
  11. Get a copy of my book, Relationships Do Matter for a special discounted price (limited time)
  12. Here’s an opportunity to win a free copy of my new ebook – In 100 words or less, explain why relationships do matter. Be creative and genuine! Go…
    Email your responses to relationshipsdm@gmail.com or info@relationshipsdomatter.comPS: All responses must be received today (12.12.12) time zone independent and winners will be announced (12.19.12). Share and do participate…(almost every entry ‘might’ qualify…will see)

Remember Relationships Do Matter
pFlo

 

Marriage = Hard Work; So Roll Up Your Sleeves.

It has been an interesting week and just before the weekend kicks off I wanted to stir the pot. For many who so desperately long for marriage, let me break the news to you as gently as possible.

Marriage requires a lot of hard work. It’s indeed a ‘what you put into it, is what you get proposition’. Don’t panic! I didn’t say Marriage is impossible, I simply said it demands your commitment and that’s hard work. By hard work, I am simply stating the obvious and preparing you for what lies ahead. Hard work doesn’t eliminate the fun, passion, excitement and fulfilment but it means ‘children’ should be barred from engaging in it until they are matured enough to appreciate and enjoy working hard for marriage will not work for the immature, lazy, selfish and self absorbed.

Manual:
If you’ve ever bought a piece of furniture that requires assembly especially those in multiple boxes then you can probably relate. Within those boxes (holding your beautiful pieces of furniture) are instruction booklets. Here’s the obvious, your beautiful furniture is dependent on your adherence, strict adherence to the series of instructions (including recommended tools, sequence etc).

If you trivialize the assembly process, you create a ‘monster’.
If you second-guess the instructions, you waste time.
If you outsource the instructions, you display your lack of knowledge.

Actually, your absolute adherence doesn’t make you dumb, it confirms your wisdom. It saves you time, it makes you happy and fulfilled. I can see you smiling already.

So why don’t we apply the same approach to these ‘marriage’ instructions?
Roll up your sleeves.
Make some room.
Place a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door.
Now read below.

Here are the four ‘Must Dos’ for Every Husband. (Single Men, take note and confirm if you are ready)
Using the perfect allegory from Eph 5:25-28 (MSG)

Husbands, go all out in your LOVE for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—

  1. A love marked by GIVING not GETTING.
  2. A love that makes the bride WHOLE (proud, bold, confident and assured).
  3. Your WORDS must EVOKE her beauty consistently.
  4. Everything you do and say is designed to bring the BEST out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness,

That is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

Wives surprisingly, here is the one ‘Must do’. (Single Ladies, read below to confirm if you are ready)

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise SUBMIT to their husbands (not to another man, only your husband please).

Let’s agree to disagree, but these are non-negotiable.
Now are you ready for hard work, oops marriage?
pFlo