Good Single Men – An Oxymoron ?

My ears are full…

Can I be honest?
This relationships mockery and sham is undeniably hypocritical. It just seems like nothing really has changed from the the first guy, Adam, who when asked what happened said, Genesis 3:12 – “The Man said, “The Woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it.”

So everywhere we go it’s always and it is still the ladiesfault. And I really mean everything. When guys mess up, it’s the ladies fault. They are not nice, accommodating, interesting, available, ready blah, blah, blah. ENOUGH ALREADY! And those you assume should even know better in the church have also adopted the same mindset, WHAT? Es tu ???

So while I have your attention, let me just say this upfront…there is no nice way or ideal style or approach to saying the obvious something is broken so I’ll just blurt it out…forgive me, maybe? This is solely for the Single guys; married men read this excellent post by my mentor, Pastor Bimbo Odukoya…but be certain I will be sharing some more truths much later.

I really need good, confident, capable, articulate, sound, spiritual and mature guys to start stepping up. No ‘blame her’ mentality. Looking for single guys who are done looking elsewhere for faults and willing to step up to their position.

Lazy, lax, complacent men…be warned that this post has a high irritation level.

1st BLURT:

Stop it! Men constantly blaming the women. They are the reason(s) we cheat one guy confided in me the other day…enough crap!

Now, the excuses range from they are too established, too capable, too intelligent, too old, too young, too independent so enough with that nonsense. It’s time real men men step up and stop hiding behind their inadequacies. If these guys would apply half the information shared on this blog, we won’t even be having this conversation. A good woman (aka SUPERWOMAN) is an advantage (ala tennis) and in your favor. Numbing the obvious via double and triple dating – riding high and fly is a reflection of your ‘smallness’ emotionally. Single guys, especially good ones have some swag, backbone, stand for something, step up, grow up, expand, improve and for goodness sake SPEAK up!

2nd BLURT:

Single Guys, don’t equate your ‘flirting skills’ to your state of maturity, the real test of emotional maturity isn’t in how many you can get but how well you nurture, protect, strengthen, support the one. So don’t ‘front’ because you aced the pre-test, take the main test first. By the way, some of these ladies are simply flattering you, get off your ‘high horse’ these ladies have been trying hard to fit round pegs into square holes.

3rd BLURT:

Spare yourself the excuse of using work, church, official duties, travel, business trips, traffic, cultural background as your dumb excuses for your ineptitude, you’ve got to work it dude, start with the hand you are dealt, learn, study, observe- chin up, chest up, RISE UP. So can you pray and comfort a lady without using scriptural verses (nothing wrong with quoting scriptures) but where’s your sympathy? We know God said, but please, oh please TELL HER WHAT YOU THINK (share the revelation) please. The word became flesh and dwelt…amongst us, so share the ‘indwelt’ truth from your heart. Go on, player…keep playing- its gonna be over and you won’t even know it. Just grow up!!!


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Culled from my new book, Questions, Singles Ask ( Available, December 2012)
Email: relationshipsdomatter for details.


  • Hmm…! Yup, it’s about time bruv….! Game on, I’m in…!!! We’ve stopped speaking the truth in love one to another or so it seems these days, and I really don’t understand why. We are soldiers… In a battlefield… This is war!… Not against flesh & blood, no… We need to maintain and claim more territory for the King… Occupy till I come, He said… How do we really expect to be transformed, when we have become so selective in our hearing, and very lame in our speaking…??? We owe it to each other to confront & declare the Truth, the whole Truth, and noting but the Truth in & for our lives, as it really is according to The Word… iron sharpening iron… not “judging” but simply “revealing” those things that dare not be mentioned amongst us in the first place, and that by just walking in and shining all of the light of God’s word that we have, and then rubbing off on each other in the process… Spurring each other on to love and good works, so that we all together will stand unashamed as His spotless bride indeed upon His return. We need each other, and yes let’s start by rising up to the core challenge and speaking out in love… for the Kingdom, for the Call. F x

    • FA- heartwarming comments…The truth indeed. We must not shy away from it, lest we destroy ourselves. Blessings Always.

  • konfidence

    Thanks for the post. Please how do you know when a guy is serious in a relationship?

    • That’s an interesting question, however you can measure a guy’s seriousness by the combination of words, actions and intent. However, I would also recommend you ask the guy what his intentions are…email me to discuss further.

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    • Hello, thanks!

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