This post might appear controversial, but guess what, it is.
This post might appear contradictory and it is not.
Here’s an excerpt from the post:
"Abstinence was drilled into me as a young girl. To the point where it was implied (and at times, even directly said) that sex was bad. At the same time, like a dangled carrot, I was taught that if I wait (because that’s what ‘true love’ does), then sex in my marriage would be amazing.
At the right time, with the right person—in a marriage relationship—sex would be good. It would be better than good. It would be incredible. Easy. Passionate. Fulfilling.
And so I waited.
Partially for the right reasons and partially out of fear. Fear of becoming damaged goods… Fear of messing up God’s perfect plan… Fear of disappointing the man I hadn’t even met yet… Fear of sex itself: the big, bad, ugly thing it was made out to be.
Then I got married.
And on my wedding night, those fears occupied the bed with me and my husband. They overcrowded and overpowered the room… the mood… me. The anxiety gave way to tears which gave way to more anxiety which gave way to, well, no sex."
Before you read the rest of the story understand that there is a danger of an unfounded leap similar to a ‘If I sleep in the garage, then I am a car’ logic, so prevalent in some circles.
When you read this post and think it is advocating a-no-abstinence policy, you’ve missed the point and you need to read it again.
When you read this post, you should see the potential danger of an ‘unfounded leap’ associated with a linear belief that just because you don’t do something means you get something else.
That leap could be an incomplete understanding of the truth and the fall is pretty hard and painful.
"Which is simply abstaining doesn’t translate to bliss…it is the necessary first step in the process.
Another profound truth is the need for more sound, practical, authentic conversation on the topic of sex, intimacy, marriage in detail especially prior to marriage and definitely during pre-marital counseling.
Hope this gets to you…now let’s connect, be real and talk because…there are too many questions, assumptions that could really be fatal.