How-Facebook-almost-destroyed-my-marriage (Critique)

My initial thoughts:

Can Facebook really do this ?
Is it Facebook’s fault ?
Could it have been Craigslist, Friendfinder, Twitter, Yahoo Messenger ? G+ ? BBM ? or any other instant messaging device ?

Then I began to wonder…

  • Could it be the individual(s) and perhaps not the gadgets ?
  • Could it really be a combination of ‘opportunities’ now available ?
  • Or a myriad of different combinations ?

If the answer is Yes then perhaps we should really address the ‘white elephant’ in the room.

So dear readers, I stumbled on this article on guess? yep, on Facebook. It was a real account and filled with ‘salient truths’. With the advent of technology, social media, easy access etc. this generation is on a journey like no other. I term these tools as ‘enablers’ and I think it’s easy to blame these ‘enablers’ and inadvertently excuse the real culprits – Us (humans). The story (below) is an account of how NO ONE IS IMMUNE and why it’s wise to obey the injunction that says- Guard your heart.

After you read the article (below) you should take practical and sound steps towards preserving your hearts and your marital homes. For Singles, it is important to practice the same habit anyway because these habits are destiny forming.

  • For some it might be a moratorium from social media
  • For some establishing a disciplined routine with all technology gadgets including sites visited.
  • For others it might be establishing accountability partners who can really ensure you stay pure.
  • For some it will be merging accounts with your spouse(s) and being accountable to each other.
  • But perhaps most importantly, it will be setting BOUNDARIES and LIMITS especially when you are already in a committed relationship – marriage, engagement, exclusive dating etc.

It’s easy to scream and rage about increased unhappiness, heartbreaks, boredom and collapse of existing relationships yet fail to understand that those incidents started slowly. The horrific pains and shame associated with betrayal, cheating, unfaithfulness, divorce have their origins in the little things. Read up my prior article, Catch the Foxes.

If you’ve got issues in your relationships, commit to fixing it, stop hiding behind other distractions, seek help from sound counsellors and don’t forget the absolute necessary ingredient of prayers.

Well, enough side…here is an except from the article…”How Facebook almost destroyed my marriage”

“I love Facebook! I have up to date pictures from my cousins mission trip to Guatemala, baby pictures within the hour of birth, prayer requests,my former students talk to me about what college their attending and so much more fun stuff. I love all that fun communication!

I hate Facebook. I hate when someone writes something distasteful, or posts pictures that are not appropriate, I hate the gossip or bashing of people but most of all I hate what it did to my marriage.

A few months back my husband came home from work and told me about how he had asked the wife of an old high school buddy if her husband had email(on Facebook). The wife soon told him they were divorced but it didn’t end there. She went on about how she was sexually abused and abused by him and then she remarried someone else and he sexually abused her daughter. My husband told me all of this conversation. I told my husband to be careful, because she was giving to much intimate information and she could be trying to suck him in to her life.

My husband, feeling very secure in our loving wonderful marriage of 12 years said I was right and he would be careful.

Well unknown to me the conversations kept going and going. My husband says he thought he was helping her by listening. She just kept sucking him in by heaping on the personal information. After awhile I started having this strange feeling that something wasn’t right. I had my husband’s password to his account (because we trust each other and wanted to be accountable) on Facebook. So about 11:30am during the weekday(with a strong feeling), I logged on his account and looked at his messages. What I didn’t realize was he was chatting with her right then! I stopped breathing for a second, I felt my whole world spin out of control.”

Read more – >

So what will you do?

Don’t forget Relationships Do Matter.

@RelationshipsDM or @holyflo


  • Adetutu Osofowora

    Unnnnn, to me, face bk is no different from my BB, TV, automobile or my gas cooker, dey are all inanimate & amoral objects wth no minds of their own & no personalty profiles but wth d ability to manifest d nature & true personalty of whoevr is using dem. Watevr each of us uses our fb account or phones or any othr possession dat we have for is a direct manifestation & expression of who we are, so d problem aint fb, d problem is each one of us & d foundational weaknesses & character flaws in us dat we haven’t bn able to deal with which d conducive environment of fb gves expression to but d truth is dat if fb doesn’t gve expression to it, some othr atmosphere will still bring it out, so d issue is not fb, d issue is US.
    . It wasn’t fb dat nearly destroyed dat marriage, d weak link in dat husband’s nature is wat is causing problem, d truth is dat d wife shld evn be grateful dat he met her via d fb which is a virtual reality, so no physical contact YET, if dat kind of a lady had bn in his working place, d same thn wuld have happened & probably wth a faster crescendo, so dat wife shld forget about passing blame on fb, face up to d present challenge, approach her hubby on her discovery in a normal, friendly, unjudgemental & non confrontational manner wth serious Holy ghost directed prayers & tongues wch will save her Man & Marriage. Gud morning sir.

    • Adetutu,
      God’s blessings. Thanks for your insightful comments and practical steps.