General, Relationships

Marriage = Hard Work; So Roll Up Your Sleeves.

It has been an interesting week and just before the weekend kicks off I wanted to stir the pot. For many who so desperately long for marriage, let me break the news to you as gently as possible.

Marriage requires a lot of hard work. It’s indeed a ‘what you put into it, is what you get proposition’. Don’t panic! I didn’t say Marriage is impossible, I simply said it demands your commitment and that’s hard work. By hard work, I am simply stating the obvious and preparing you for what lies ahead. Hard work doesn’t eliminate the fun, passion, excitement and fulfilment but it means ‘children’ should be barred from engaging in it until they are matured enough to appreciate and enjoy working hard for marriage will not work for the immature, lazy, selfish and self absorbed.

If you’ve ever bought a piece of furniture that requires assembly especially those in multiple boxes then you can probably relate. Within those boxes (holding your beautiful pieces of furniture) are instruction booklets. Here’s the obvious, your beautiful furniture is dependent on your adherence, strict adherence to the series of instructions (including recommended tools, sequence etc).

If you trivialize the assembly process, you create a ‘monster’.
If you second-guess the instructions, you waste time.
If you outsource the instructions, you display your lack of knowledge.

Actually, your absolute adherence doesn’t make you dumb, it confirms your wisdom. It saves you time, it makes you happy and fulfilled. I can see you smiling already.

So why don’t we apply the same approach to these ‘marriage’ instructions?
Roll up your sleeves.
Make some room.
Place a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door.
Now read below.

Here are the four ‘Must Dos’ for Every Husband. (Single Men, take note and confirm if you are ready)
Using the perfect allegory from Eph 5:25-28 (MSG)

Husbands, go all out in your LOVE for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—

  1. A love marked by GIVING not GETTING.
  2. A love that makes the bride WHOLE (proud, bold, confident and assured).
  3. Your WORDS must EVOKE her beauty consistently.
  4. Everything you do and say is designed to bring the BEST out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness,

That is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

Wives surprisingly, here is the one ‘Must do’. (Single Ladies, read below to confirm if you are ready)

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise SUBMIT to their husbands (not to another man, only your husband please).

Let’s agree to disagree, but these are non-negotiable.
Now are you ready for hard work, oops marriage?

  • Pingback: The Obedient Husband « Diva Reflections()

  • Pingback: Bringing Love Back « Women in Contemporary Relationships()

  • Tope

    I agree 100%!! Nobody said marriage was supposed to be easy but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. In fact, I feel that the more work we have to put into it the more we appreciate it. If we look at examples in life, anything that comes easy to us we usually don’t appreciate or think much of it but the things that require a lot of work we tend to cherish. An example is education, the longer you spend in school and the harder you work at your degree the more you appreciate and cherish it.

  • Kunbi

    I agree that marriage is alot of work, and should be emphasized at every gathering but I also people that nowadays people scare alot of young people from getting married by overemphasizing the challenges and underemphasizing the ‘spoils’ of marriage. Most of us have seen the challenges that our parents encountered in their marriages, but most of us were not given a balanced lecture about the joys of staying married inspite of the hardwork. I believe that pastors, marriage counselors and others who counsel people should educate the people who intend to get married about the hard core truths of marriage , by avoiding the onesided discussion about the negatives of marriage and including some positives.

    Thank you