General, Singles

OPINION: A SINGLE MAN’S DILEMMA – Dami Ige (RDM Contributor)

Our featured writer, Dami simply captured a recently concluded conversation she had with her friend(s).
We hope it stimulates and provokes subsequent conversations. Enjoy & Remember Relationships Do Matter.

A SINGLE MAN’s DILEMMA
Recently, I’ve been seriously considering turning my affections to men and know how that feels. A little probing made me realize it is not any better. Men have standards too. I am not poor but I am comfortable with a car and nice crib to my credit. The issue is the dating world has turned to a big game I don’t want to play, almost like chess.

I’ve never been really good at chess despite how much I’ve tried. In a game of chess, I realized that there are lots of rules, limitations and boundaries and such is the dating world. It seems to me anyone that cannot inhale the requirements would simply fail. Why can’t everything be so easy? A few centuries ago, I wouldn’t have to worry.

I find it repelling and exhausting that almost every relationship I’ve tried to have, failed. Going to seminars, reading books brought my attention to the fact that it is an ever changing world and one must keep up with the rules, hence you’d feel like you just dropped from another planet. There are just too many guesses, what-ifs, dos and don’ts; all these are pretty tiring.

It is excruciating that there’re so many rules involved. There are expectations which I can’t figure out (remember I’m not good at games), I don’t mind being told ‘this is what I want and how I want it.’ I’m a man, why can’t I just be one and let my feelings take its natural course? It baffled me when I heard showing you care too much is considered a sign of needy and desperation. Why can’t I just walk up to her and tell her the truth simply, I’m interested in her. Why do I have to go through all the process of pretending to be just a friend? It seems to me that only master players get the women. And these master players get the women, not only do they do that, they move on to the fresh bloods as soon as they’ve had their fill. Why would a girl pick a confident interesting smooth talker over a shy stuttering but sincere young man? It made me realize everyone (both sexes) like them confident, but I am not the type.

Honestly, I am as sincere as they come. Why can’t I age with her learning, her style and her ways? Why do I have to be restricted to some refined skills? It feels limited and not expressive enough, yet I can’t do much with my natural instincts.

Image: http://pinterest.com/pin/13651605090386118/

 

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