Someone posted this blog ( “If you call it ‘settling’, then yes, I have settled“) in the Relationship Matters Group Page (Click Here) and asked for comments, well it grew into (well read below) and please feel free to share your thoughts.
This is an interesting story filled with contradictions! How did an ideal romantic turn into an apathetic pessimist ?
This story of a lovely lady shows the after effect of a bad relationship and a story that perpetuates a lie about marriage, love, choices and lastly being born again Christians. In some way, it minimizes the importance of our choices in love while over emphasizing the commandment (duty) of love. It also ignores a critical component of marriage called COMPATIBILITY between a couple along these categories (physical, emotional and intellectual) but highlights the spiritual compatibility, somewhat to the detriment of the other aforementioned categories.
I am conflicted…while the phrase, ‘settling into love’ isn’t necessarily bad, it somehow seems like a compromise of sorts when read within this context. A lifetime of commitment built on a shaky premise is a potential danger. Be careful!
So while I cautiously admit that there might be more to this story, however I would probably ask the bride to slow down and seek the appropriate counsel to address her trust issues, her dependency and some of the flawed assumptions about love before proceeding with the marriage. There is however a big difference between a good guy and the right guy.