Sorry, I can’t take you home.
This old maxim; a good woman is hard to find, strangely has become a crotch for many things and almost everything. Honestly, it’s use is definitely more than I would love to admit. When men utter this ‘all-inclusive’ maxim, its actually a mixed message and sometimes ladies are ‘clueless’ about exactly what these guys are saying. so let’s attempt to unravel the mystery…next Friday I will be hosting a "Relationship Matters" Event on the 14th and you are cordially invited. Click here
So here is a tale to articulate signs to look for, conversations to avoid, and those to have before investing your time, energy and resources. Stop wasting your time expending significant energy on a relationship that is/was ‘dead-on-arrival’.
Read ‘SUPERWOMAN’ preferably before this piece for additional context.
Dear readers especially ladies, never, never, never lose hope.
So here goes:
Eventually, the end point of a dating, courtship or any ’emotionally involving’ relationship is to take it to the next level. In order words, become an ‘item known, confirmed and accepted at HOME. This has a lot to do with the culture. Choose your battles wisely!
By home, it means make the relationship legit, it means making the lady the woman for one’s life. It goes beyond a public declaration to a public confirmation. In order words, it means commit to making the lady, the queen of the home.
So this is for those stuck at the stage of ‘public declaration’ but not ‘public confirmation’.
This is for ‘some’ of you who have been too closed up, to learn, face and accept reality.
This is for those who are getting bombarded with ‘requests’.
This isn’t applicable to all ladies so don’t shoot the messenger… if the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t even sweat it…just keep moving forward.
Scene #1: Man to Woman:
Location: Global (anywhere)
Girl, you are fun and edgy, but sorry, I can’t take you home.
You are exciting, flirty and oh so desirable, but sorry, I can’t take you home.
You are a smile waiting to happen, but sorry, I can’t take you home.
You are radiant, beautiful but sorry, I can’t take you home.
Your lips are as sweet as honey, and your mouth smoother than oil, but sorry, I can’t take you home.
You are the life of the party, elegant and beautiful but sorry, I can’t take you home.
You are an erupting volcano, intense, powerful and cool but sorry, I can’t take you home.
The rebuttal: Woman to Man:
What??? I have given this relationship everything.
I have bent over backward, accommodated all your idiosyncrasies and how dare you?
So tell me…
Why Not, Why won’t you take me home?
You told me: I am the ideal fantasy. See Cheesy lines for some of those words he said when he met you (location irrelevant).
Matured, seasoned, articulate, successful, powerful, astute, popular, regarded and respected. Right?
I can have any man I want, my social prowess unmatched and everyone finds me ravishing, my beauty is undeniable, my acumen unmatched, my fame extends far, i am a social media darling, have you seen my many followers? I am everyman’s dream.
Timing: Irrelevant (could be instant or delayed- weeks, months, years).
Man to Woman:
Well, but you are a delayed reaction.
You are easily swayed.
You ‘dance’ to polls and public opinions.
You live according to your sororities honor code.
You lack roots and deny it’s importance.
You have no identity.
You have no regard.
You have a Midas touch but lack a common touch.
You stagger and do not realize it.
You have no depth and lack what it takes to nurture, build, preserve and extend.
You are a bitter pill, as dangerous as a double-edged sword. PS: that means ‘crazy or unpredictable’.
You are not my Superwoman (click to read article).
So yes its fun hanging out with you, but that’s all there is to us…hanging out. You have been a great ride especially during the critical ‘experimental phase’ of my life, you are the ultimate plaything, I will always cherish the memories we created but I can’t take you home.
If I do, I will lose my honor and will lose to merciless people all I have achieved.
With you its a lose-lose proposition for strangers will consume my wealth, and someone else will enjoy the fruit of my labor.
In the end I will groan in anguish, I am so sorry I can’t take you ‘home’.
Closing Scene: break up, fights/disagreements…lady returns to the dating scene bruised, boy moves to another lady.
This could have been prevented, avoided and nipped in the bud much earlier…learn more at the next Relationship Matters Event (Dec 14th, 2012) RSVP Now: HERE
Some truths (masked) but gleaned from Solomon arguably the world’s best at ladies matters…
(Prov 5:3-6, 9-11 NLT)
PS: Get ready for more pertinent questions and answers for many common issues Singles face daily in my new book, titled "Questions, Singles Ask" (Available December, 2012).
Email relationshipsdm for more information, bulk purchases for your single friends, colleagues, youth/young adult groups and clubs.
Image source: http://pinterest.com/pin/104779128801365007/