There is a tension between settling and settling down!
“…some women in their twenties leave good relationships based on an elusive feeling that they could find something more with someone else, and they regret it down the road when their choices dwindle. It’s not that women aren’t willing to settle; it’s that many refuse to recognize that their vision of the perfect man doesn’t match reality.”
– Kristine Huntley’s review on Lori Gottlieb’s book, “Marry Him, The Case for Settling For Mr. Good Enough”.
Every single ought to know these truths:
- There is a difference between settling and settling down.
- There are no perfect human beings, hence no perfect relationships, spouses, marriages (don’t let the social media posts on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram rile you up.
- All successful relationships embrace to some degree the notion of settling within settling down.
- And, yes…there is a real struggle to be won between “SETTLING” and “SETTLING DOWN”.
Natural Inclination – FEAR OF SETTLING:
We are so afraid of settling!
Yet, most of us will eventually have to settle to settle down at some point, so we must apply great care to ensure the concept of settling down is not destroyed because we all settle.
- I am concerned by people blinded by this fear who continue to block and prevent great relationships from developing and in some cases have inadvertently destroyed ‘wonderful’ opportunities.
- I am concerned by some’s inability to separate fantasy from reality.
- I am concerned that the pragmatic approach needed in some relationships have been renamed.
- I am concerned by the heartaches, loneliness, disappointments, regrets and failed relationships.
- I don’t want you living in fear of settling.
- I want to let you know that ALL relationships start and thrive by the delicate balance between the pragmatic desire of “SETTLING DOWN” with the notion of “SETTLING”. In order words, most great relationships and marriages go through the process of ‘SETTLING’ to arrive at “SETTLING DOWN”.
- Isn’t it time to carefully appropriate these hugely popular quotes and clichés as some of them especially on “SETTLING” need to be understood and applied within the right context(s). Consider this popular quote:
REALLY? NEVER SETTLE?? I disagree!
I do however agree with the next two images (message) though:
So are you settling when you settle down? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
I want to hear from you, let know your thoughts, do you agree or disagree?
Resources (articles & more to consider):
- Why I think those who settle will eventually cheat –http://madamenoire.com/216077/the-danger-of-marrying-for-practical-purposes-why-i-think-those-who-settle-are-potential-cheaters/
- 4 Reasons not to settle
- On Vibrant Love:
- Listen to “Stop Making EXCUSES“
Author: ‘Flo Falayi, Ph.D.(c) is the founder of RelationshipMatters & HybridLeaders. He is married with kids and passionate about Leadership, Singles, Relationships and helping people maximize their life & relationships. Flo hosts and speaks at conferences, seminars and events locally and internationally.