“How Do You Define Yourself” – Lizzie Velasquez

What defines you?
So how do you define yourself?
By your status?
Or by your influence?
Or by your family name, influence?
Or by your acumen?

Here’s one of my favorite videos, I hope it challenges you and force you to start defining yourself by the purpose, gifts, calling and intentions that God has deposited inside you.
Thank God it’s Friday!

“Alone in the City”

Sometimes, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done to get something you’ve never had.

A few weeks ago I challenged a single lady…to stop complaining and doing the same things she did in 2013. I was adamant that she had to do something different in 2014. Well, well…what came out of it surprised me. She offered to share her ramblings including mode swings, prayers, expectations, fears, challenges, concerns, questions and stories weekly while offering the public a chance to weigh in as well.

She’s educated, matured, 30-40ish, christian lady and believe me we’ve decided to talk about anything. Nothing is off limit, or too sacred…and the kicker is there is absolutely no scripting whatsoever. She has the benefit of anonimity to be herself and so without much ado, I know each week will present it’s own share of fun, challenge and insight. Honestly, I can’t tell you how this ends…because I don’t know so why don’t we go on this journey together? I hope you tag along…it starts next week, Wednesday January 22nd. Excited? Absolutely, you should.

Her Introduction –

Hello dear friends of Relationships Do Matter (RDM) –
Recently, I decided to take Pastor Flo’s advice to stop doing the same things regarding my dating life in 2014. I mean, if I want to get out of living single and into marriage, I might actually have to leave my house, right? So far, The One hasn’t crashed through my roof so I guess he’s out there somewhere, waiting for me to meet him halfway or he has been searching for me, who knows.

Me: I am a spontaneous, witty, funny late 30ish lady currently based in one of the cold regions in the US and and things can get really slow around these parts. I think I’m a decent-looking girl with some fashion sense. So I don’t understand why weeks go by, and not even a wink from a guy, any guy! Like a friend once said, “I don’t understand. It’s like I’m a ghost”. I know that being single is not a status and really means being content with the life I have but I have struggles.

This column is about me taking the bull by its horns this year. I’m going to try different things since the everyday “girl bumps into guy, they fall in love” scenario is not quite working (where I live, I’m more likely to bump into a snowbank). I will try online dating, I will not say no to any friends, family or strangers who want to play matchmaker, and I will not judge any guy until I’ve been out with him at least twice.

Your role, my dear readers, here is to help me along this journey. I will need your opinions and your advice. You will help me spot the red flags. You will tell me if I’m being overly picky.

I’m excited about this next phase of my life and look forward to sharing it with you. Pastor Flo (@holyflo) will be the voice of wisdom on this forum/exchange/conversation and will help us all tie our loose ends together. If there is a heated debate, his will be the calm voice that will bring folks back to order.

I look forward to the next few months and invite you to be a voice on this journey.

Connect with RDM, here:
Follow Blog: www.relationshipsdomatter.com
Like us RDM on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationshipsdomatter
Follow on Twitter: https://twitter.com/relationshipsdm

It will be fun, I hope !?!
Bye for now.
I am “Alone in the City” (c)

Relationships Do Matter, 2014

No 2014 resolutions for me.

I am done with resolutions so there will be no 2014 resolutions for me.

Let me explain, ever since I realized that most of my typical ‘end of year resolutions’ (most, not all) make me feel like a failure rather than a success and guess what they also leave me with some guilt trips. So I’ve given up on that approach as a means of tracking and measuring my progress, now I have a VISION.

I can’t even explain why I found it so hard or was so tough on myself over missed gym appointments or devotionals or reading assignments. Fortunately, I have since adopted a simpler process that works perfectly for me and I hope for some of you with similar feelings or sentiments will find the typical resolution approach.

It’s so simple and yet so powerful, I call it the three things. These 3 questions allow me to cut to the chase and focus on my growth/development and purpose.

So every year, I find a quiet place and assess, critically assess everything – what worked (successes, achievements, completed goals) and those that are still pending, failures which are simply learning opportunities as well as those goals I’ve ignored or abandoned and I ask myself these 3 questions.

In 2014 –

What will I continue (keep) doing in the new year?
What will I stop doing in the new year?
What will I start doing in the new year?

Let me share with you an example for the new year.

In 2014 –

I will continue to read the book of Proverbs every month.
I will stop over loading my schedule.
I will start an appreciation log and celebrate family and friends at least once a month.

So here’s wishing you and yours a wonderful New Year filled with precious blessings.

God bless and the indeed, the best is ours in 2014.

‘Flo Falayi, Ph.D (c)
Founder, Relationships Do Matter

2014 is going to be our year.



This month –

Your expectations will not be disappointed.
Your hopes will not be destroyed.
Your past will not overwhelm or destroy your present and future.

You will be bigger, wiser, bolder, richer and stronger as you continue to BUILD, DEVELOP, LEARN, DISCOVER life changing and relationships maximizing insights and revelation.

Victory, Success and Harvest will not manifest by casually observing life or events and by being passive.
You must be bold and courageous…do, be, act, love, pray, believe, reach etc.

Nothing will stop you in November…

Believe that!



We remember (9/11)

We remember 9/11.
We remember tragedies, war, violence, disaster, wickedness.
We remember loss, pain, calamity, suffering, tears, separation and much more.

Today, we remember the victims and heroes of 9/11.
We remember the loved ones and communities of those who died and their loved ones.

We also remember the sacrifices that countless Americans make today and many others around the world to prevent such tragic events from happening again.

We remember…


Image: Google Images

“Someone needs You” – Kelechi Okeahialam (featured contributor)


Loneliness, sometimes can not be explained… it is a state of feeling totally alone and often ‘un-needed’ in this fast paced world of ours. It shows up after a bridal or baby shower, a romantic wedding, when you drive home after a marvelous lunch with your best girls; when the silence of your home hits you at the door, night after night.

When you cling unconsciously to that dying moments of a wonderful movie, or when you look longingly at a couple in love. You tell yourself you’re alright, you’re doing good; and sure you are.

You are grateful to God for His many blessings and the love of family and friends…but then sometimes… you feel this gnawing emptiness… this longing to belong to someone, to be claimed by the one who loves you truly?


If you are a lady in waiting and the wait has become a solid structure that seems to have no intention of fading into oblivion… this is for you.

Somewhere out there… someone is longing to be everything to you… I pray for you today my lady in waiting, that he will reveal himself to you according to the timing of God. You are precious, you are beautiful, you are beloved… Never, ever forget that. – Kelechi Okeahialam

Sister girl, you are Everything To Somebody
Right now at this very minute
Someone is very proud of you
Someone is thinking of you
Someone cares about you
Someone misses you 

Someone wants to talk to you
Someone wants to be your friend
Someone hopes you aren’t in trouble
Someone wants to give you all the support you need.
Someone wants to hold your hand
Someone hopes everything turns out all right

Someone wants you to be happy
Someone wants to get very close to you
Someone wants you to spend all your life celebrating your successes
Someone wants to give you a gift
Someone think you ARE a gift
Someone hopes you are not too cold, or too hot

Someone wants to hug you
Someone loves you
Someone wants to lavish you with everything you’ll ever want in life
Someone admires your strength
Someone is thinking of you and smiling
Someone wants to be your shoulder to cry on

Someone wants you to go out and have a lot of fun
Someone thinks the world of you
Someone wants to protect you
Someone would do anything for you
Someone wants you to be forgiven
Someone is grateful for your forgiveness
Someone wants you to go out and have a lot of fun
Someone thinks the world of you
Someone wants to protect you
Someone would do anything for you
Someone wants you to be forgiven
Someone is grateful for your forgiveness

Someone wants to laugh with you at all times
Someone remembers you and wishes you were there
Someone is praising God for you
Someone needs to know that your love is unconditional
Somebody values your advice
Someone wants to tell you how much he cares

Someone wants to stay up watching old movies with you
Someone wants to share his dreams with you
Someone wants to hold you in his arms
Someone wants YOU to hold him in your arms
Someone treasures your spirit
Someone wishes he could STOP time because of you

Someone praises God for your friendship and love
Someone wants you to put a little trust in him
Someone wishes that things didn’t have to change
Someone loves you for who you are
Someone loves the way you make him feel
Someone wants to be with you

Someone is hoping he can grow old with you
Someone hears a song that reminds him of you
Someone wants you to know he’s are there for you
Someone is glad that you’re his friend
Someone wants to be your friend
Someone stayed up all night thinking about you

Someone is alive because of you
Someone is remorseful after losing your Friendship
Someone is wishing that you would notice him
Someone wants to get to know you better
Someone believes that you are his soul mate
Someone wants to be near you

Someone misses your guidance and advice
Someone values your guidance and advice
Someone has faith in you
Someone trusts you
Someone needs your support
Someone needs you to have faith in him
Someone needs you to let him be your friend and more. – Anon

Image Source: http://pinterest.com/pin/245657354644332584/