THE NOTEBOOK IS REAL… Insightful Observations and Thoughts by Dami Ige (RDM Contributor)


Ever heard of ‘the notebook’? Sure you have, but in case you haven’t it is a classical story of Noah and Alley, they met during Alley’s summer break, and she went to Seabrook, a small village. They met, fell in love, grew in love, played, fight, and did things together. Of course they were young and had no taste of the ‘real’ world. Alley’s mother realizing Noah’s poor background disapproved of the relationship and interfered, yes she succeeded in separating them. Their love story ended with the summer break before it even started. Years later, they reconnected, and Alley discovered Noah had written her everyday for a year. Their subdued love ignited. Alley broke up with her fiancé (poor man) and married Noah. It was a happily ever after.

That story sounds a bit farfetched, right? Yes. Just like the Romance novels. I know when you are grown you begin to realize the stuff you read in the novels are far from reality, they are nothing but the writers’ imagination. You begin to see the essence of sacrifices, almost intolerable compromise, lots of patience, endurance, and there might be no magic like the writer had made it to be. The man might not be the tall, dark and handsome, and the woman might not be the slim, average height, full breast, round buttocks, etc. you’ve been made to imagine (Let’s get real). Truly, you can imagine the state of the writer’s mind by the story he churns out. But there is a particular truth: ’if you can think it, you can achieve it’. Am I all over the place? Hold on. I will prove it to you, by telling you a TRUE life story. But before I do, let me emphasis the fact that there is magic in the world and ‘happily ever after’ is real.

Frank and Lola met during her NYSC days, it wasn’t an immediate attraction and they were not friends, they were civil to each other. Frank had melancholy ways about him; he thought about and through everything, Sola, on the other hand is impulsive, daring, fashionable, flashy, fast and feisty. Frank thought ladies like Sola are impossible to control and any man who ends up with people like them won’t live up to forty years. Sola thought men like Frank are the onlookers in life. They will never be impactful. Did I mention they were not friends?

After service, she partnered with her other two friends, Kech and Tola. They started a design line with Sola as the designer. They had it rough, really rough; they decided they need to consult with a business expert. They have the impeccable designs, they have a place, but they have realized there is more to a company than that.

Eventually, their vision started taking shape, they were at the peak of ecstasy and it called for celebration to new beginnings. During the party, Sola was introduced to the consultant, Kech who runs the administration of the company had been seeing. Frank!, she managed not to scream. They talked, laughed at the party and yes, there was no spark. But Sola soon realized Frank might be an annoyingly frustrating slow man, but that is his strength, his masked extraordinary intellects.

They got together, naturally, they discovered they have very little things in common, if nothing at all, but Frank was exceptionally gentle and let Sola, the bossy boss have her way all the time. On a Saturday, Sola travelled, only to tell Frank later on. He exploded! He laid his cards down for Sola, and that was when Sola learned Frank was not to be taken for granted, though she felt life with frank would be good, but boring. She wanted a tall, dark, handsome, unpredictable man. She wanted sparks. She wanted dimpled, white teethed face in a man. She wanted rich, known and widely respected. She needed a break from Frank.

During a service on Sunday, she had dragged herself to church and wasn’t really paying attention, in spite of that lackadaisical attitude, she heard something clearly, ‘when it is hard to forgive, it would be easier, if you made the list of the person’s positive and negative characters, if the positive outweighs the negative, what are you waiting for? But if the negative outweighs the positive, ask for grace.’ She thought of Frank. She made the list right there in church, Frank is of average height, brown skinned, thoughtful eyes, never relaxed yet calm, white teethed, intelligent, gentle, very considerate, desperately caring, on the other hand, his explosions can be unexpected and uncontrollable, not handsome, the ‘just okay’ type, not strikingly rich, not popular but unforgettable. There and then, she realized Frank was her dream, her fantasy, the perfect man in her romance novels, and her knight with shinning armor. She went to his place after service, for the first time told him she loved him.

It wasn’t an easy ride, after three years, they were bored, Sola the impulsive one wanted out, then again she saw that list, the sparks lightened again, she concentrated on his positive side. Frank too was beginning to get attracted to a gentle dove in his office, truthfully, the gentle dove surpassed Sola in beauty, and highly considerate unlike Sola, but then he looked at Sola, she is feisty, that complements his quiet nature. She is industrious. She made him see the bright side of life, she made him go to all that parties he really didn’t fancy, in all these things, Sola was his in an exciting unattractive sort of way. He decided and realized Sola was his life. They fought a lot, they made up. They desperately held on to each other. Yes, life threw his tantrums, there were distractions, there was a time Frank was on wheel chair, there was a time, they had nothing in their account, but they had realized what magic is, what the authors of the romance novels had been trying to say.

There is love in magic, there is magic in love. Magic is not an illusion of fate; it is not the queasy butterfly feeling, neither is love. Watching a documentary on the life of a magician had made me realize this, he read, studied and understood the rhythm of nature, there was nothing exceptionally extra ordinary. I like to call the seemingly supernatural powers, the unknown tunes of nature. He didn’t discover all, some magical tricks worked by chance and he again went back to studying what made them work. I might as well let you know that magicians are one of the best learners. They don’t invent cars, phones, they invent tricks. Just like talking to someone in another part of the world seems like magic. It is not. Just the result of years and years of research, a machine flying in the air is serious, devoted, underground work. So are magical tricks, years and years of research. I always say, when you see the behind-the-scenes of the seemingly magical show or something magical, you’ll then know magic is not the unusual, unexpected work of nature, but careful study, hardwork and diligence. Confused?

Here is what Frank and Sola realized, it won’t work out if they don’t let it, they won’t have sparks, if they don’t create it, and there would be no magic, if they don’t give room for it. Daily, they realize they will fight but work it out. They may betray each other and build walls, but they have to create a door in the wall and walk through it. They need years and years of understanding and learning. They will never attain that perfect love, but they can give room for perfection.

So what do you think?