"A ‘progressive’ man will adopt a white woman’s culture easily. The same man will treat his black wife ever so differently."
RECENTLY, I watched an episode of “Don’t tell the bride”, the BBC reality TV series where a couple get money to spend on their wedding, with the groom responsible for organising every detail, and surprising the bride while at it.
In this particular show, the groom, a black man of Ghanaian heritage, was marrying a white woman of Irish descent. They made for a lovely couple.
During the ceremony the groom and his groomsmen performed a surprise routine for the bride: they danced the Irish stepdance to symbolise that the groom was heartily embracing his new wife and her culture.
It was all very admirable. Then the following question came to mind: Why is that when a black man marries a woman of a different race, he accepts her for who she is as a person, and even goes as far as adopting aspects of her culture as a part of his newly formed identity, but when he marries a black woman he expects her to become a totally different person from the woman he courted at the beginning of the relationship, so much so that he would even subjugate her and break her spirit, in the name of making her a “traditional and a good African wife”?
So the question, "Why do otherwise progressive men behave differently towards their black wives?" By Palesa Thinane-Epondo is a worthwhile read.